It's My Life...

2010-06-20T07:25:00.002+08:00

So many things have happened and yet I was not kept in the loop. God is with me. I finally confirmed and made up my decision. I have to thank all the people around me who kept me in the loop. Without them, I'll be stuck forever.. My heart has hardened and I'm ready.. I hope the other party is ready too.. It's going to be painful but a good lesson for all.. Finally my mind is clear...

2010-06-17T01:56:00.003+08:00

Suddenly.. I feel that many hints are sent to me for a purpose. Negative thoughts are flowing through my mind.. But my heart tells me another story. What should I do? Should I follow my heart or face the practical truth that may affect the rest of my life? When I have sorted out something and wanna start afresh, another new ugly truth arises. How am I going to move on? I'm so scared of being hurt.. Should I throw myself in the ocean when I know there are sharks around? Or should I look forward to the treasures and beauty of the loving creatures and nature of the underwater world?? Or should I just choose to stay off the ocean and move towards land??

2009-05-22T23:11:00.002+08:00

I'm so upset today.. my tuitees did not do well for their exams.. Am I such a terrible tutor? One of them is related to my bf.. How will his family members look at me? I have lost my confidence suddenly.. I feel that this is really a turning point for me.. Either I change my strategy to teach them or give up and leave and hope there would be another tutor who can teach them better than I can do..

But this would also mean that I have to sacriface even more time and energy on them. Can I afford them when I start teaching? I still need time for myself to breathe.. This is so shitty.. I hate to make this decision.

This really voice down to my philosophy.. I believe I'm born to teach. I wanna make a difference in children's lives. I want them to believe in themselves and guide them in reaching their goals. I want them to know that failure is nothing but part and puzzle of life which will eventually lead to success with the right attitude and mind.

Wow.. I think I feel better after writing all these.. I know what I'm going to do now.. I'll try to apply the strategies which I have learnt from NIE on these students when necessary and try all means to help them. As long as they are still in Primary level, I will not give up!

2009-03-04T00:45:00.003+08:00

Within a day.. we kinda of talked things out. I really hope this is for the better.. I'm willing to put in effort to improve the relationship. I think Jay is suffocating coz of me.. I should really give him more space..
I also hope that I would be convinced tat he is going to be ready to settle down..

Now, it is time for me to concentrate on my training for my run and studies..

Jia you to myself..

It's time to catch up with long lost frds too! If anyone of ya wans to meet me.. call me.. Haha!

2009-03-03T13:21:00.002+08:00

It's time for a time out.. we can't seem to communicate anymore. I missed those honeymoon days suddenly.. that's when we really put in the effort to listen to one another and resolve problems more willingly for each other.. Guess the problem lies in me.. I have to think through and overcome them.. arrgg.. this really frustrates me..

2009-03-02T21:46:00.002+08:00

I've been really moody lately. Especially between me and jay.. I dunno wat's going on.. I'm easily upset with him. I feel that he doesn't need by company anymore.. he has his soccer and frds and that's it. He used to invite me to his dinner with his frds and stuff.. but now.. i'm asked to settle my meals on my own.. although he message me to say how important i am to him, I dun really see it through actions.
I guess this is the space that my frd was telling me abt.. After reaching a certain point in a relationship, 2 parties will realise that we should provide space for one another.
But i'm struggling.. i'm not used to it.. Maybe I've been spending too much of my time with him. Maybe he's getting tired of me..

I always have the tendency to over commit myself to my love life.. And I always ended up feeling upset. How I hope I can turn back time to restraint myself from falling deeper into a well..

I have decided. If he needs the space, I'll give it to him. This means that I should have the space for myself too! I have been trying so hard to give tuition and music to earn extra money for our future.. but these are not the things that I enjoy doing the most! Maybe I should relook into what interest me and juz go for it! That sounds like a more healthy relationship.. :)

2008-12-15T00:32:00.003+08:00

recently, I've met so many people whom I have not met for years! I was at st james yesterday and saw Shi mei, one of my sec schoolmates! Yesterday, my bro happened to be working there too. This was the 1st time i club with my brother.. I was pretty hilarious! I was with Jason and his friends.. I kind of enjoyed myself yesterday.. :)

I realised my time management is still pretty bad.. I wanna try to be really on time in all events.. regardless important a not. It was after receiving a "lecture" from my dear before I realised it's pretty important to change this bad habit. Thanks darling!

Frisbee has entered my life once again. I'm playing in the winter league at seng kang.. I didn't play well today. I'm going to try harder next week! cheers!

2008-12-09T14:08:00.004+08:00

The time is passing by too quickly!! I dun wan my sch holidays to stop.. My dearie has juz brought me to the Singapore Flyer last weekend.. The scenery was amazing.. But the time passed too quickly i feel. Watching the sunset ot sunrise would be a different experience too..

We also watched the movie Bolt! The cartoon was hilarious! very funny indeed. Thanks to my dear Jason..

The next morning, we all went to the red star restaurant for dim sum. The place was super crowded with so so service. My daddy treated us for that meal! cool!

I really spent quality time with my family yesterday. In the evening we went to singpore yacht club to accompany my bro for some function. I'm so proud of him for being the "leader" of the gang who would takes the initiatives to organise functions for the rest of his future classmates in Australia.

The surprising thing is that I saw my sec 4 form teacher Mdm Woo, whose daughter is also going to be my bro's future classmate! what a coincidence.. later, i was talking to a father of my bro's classmate and realised that they were stay so close to us! This shows how small this world is..

I wan to treasure the time I have to live my life to the fullest.. I realised I have imbalance certain areas which caused me and my love ones to feel unhappy lately..

2008-11-06T14:33:00.002+08:00

At last!! no more assignments! no more presentations! but.. suddenly, exams are round the corner!! So time to study study study.. Can't wait to finish my exams.. So many things to do after that...

2008-10-19T00:07:00.003+08:00

Hi there.. well, I'll played table tennis for abt an hour, an hr of yoga last week.. Though it's not sufficient but it's a good start for me...
My dear dear was mad at me just now coz i din hear him call me. I was at the restroom when he called and the place was horribly noisy. I was initially upset for him being angry with me. But later, i realised that it's really hard to him to find time to call me. Besides the tel booth is very inconvenient for him to go to. I think we both got upset too coz we are both frustrated that no matter how hard we try, we could still not able to get to talk to each other. Thankfully, darling was understanding and we resolved this problem pretty quickly. Can't wait for him to be back!

I'm feeling sleepy now.. good nite...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

2008-10-10T22:48:00.002+08:00

Hi there,
I need a BREAK!! I've been working so hard today.. doing my sch work. I woke up early to have breakfast with my mummy this morning. Happy to see my darling's messages when i woke up. After breakfast i went home. I practiced music for like 3 hours! It revitalized my whole spirit and got me ready to do my sch work. I took nap and den when for my 45 mins jog. I started using my US5 dollar polar watch. It was so cool!! It start beeping which helps me to keep my heart rate constant. I wanted to go to serangoon stadium for my jog. However, it was closed for a school function. Therefore, I jogged around my area instead. I got to look at the sky and admire the beautiful sunset. It reminds me of the beautiful scenery that I saw in america along our journey from states to states, the grand canyon etc.. Those were heart-warming moments.. Now, i feel so good after the excercise. California fitness called me. I'm so glad. It means that I'd have a chance to exercise again! Hooray! I loved their lessons! Darling called just now too. I missed him.. But since he's away, I'll try my best to make ful use of my time to do my work or catching up with family and friends. We shall see... :)

2008-10-10T00:54:00.002+08:00

As you can see.. this is a really small cake.. I couldn't find a cake in the middle of the night.. so that's the best i can find.. But thankfully.. my dear was understanding enough.. Haha. Anyway, we had the big cake on the next day.. I forgot to explain.. that's for his birthday..
the drinks from this coffee club were fabulous! This brand was found any rest areas along the expressways in america.. I missed the hot chocolate when it was so soothing to drink when the weather was so cold there den.
This picture was taken in ma poh.. with jason's bro and sis..
Say goodbye to Dr Harry.. Boo Hoo.. He's a good lecturer.. Will always remember him..
Here's the new committee with the ex committee.. We had an 3 hour interview session with a mini voting system to select the new committee members. They are a new batch of very enthusiastic and fun-loving people with creative ideas to inject and contribute DanceFuzion.. I'm sure they are going to bring the club proud!

2008-10-10T00:32:00.002+08:00

Wow.. It's been so long since I've blogged again. I've been so so busy. I have handed over my postion as the chairperson of my dance club to Faizal. I thought that maybe it's time for me to pull up my socks and catch up with my studies. I seemed to miss out so much. Din do my readings, burning midnight oil for basically everything. What is happening to me? I picked up 3 music students recently and still giving tuition to the same student since last year. I'm financially more stable as compared to the time when i just arrived back home from USA.
I have been thinking lately. About many things. School, dance, sports, music, work, Love, friendship, family relationship and myself. If there are things to improve about myself in relation to these issues, I think there are thousands and one answers to it. So which should I prioritize first? I wonder... Some of my flaws caused my love ones to be upset with me and I ended up being upset too. So why not try changing for the better?

Well, I these are the major flaws that i have to overcome for now.
1) being to defensive - I tend to defend myself immediately when someone rejects or criticize me. Why be so defensive? Like what van told me, why not pause, give myself and whoever sometime to think about it and den response. This may help. I have to keep reminding myself that from now on

2) my room is in a mess. It's so hard for me to look for my stuff every now and den. I have to start packing up!! I'll start a little from tml onwards!

3)Being punctual. In regards to dating, meeting, tuition or deadlines for sch work. Everything must be on time!!

4) I'm putting on weight! Therefore, excercising is the best way to keep myself fit. I want to achieve 48kg! Therefore, I'll try to exercise 2 to 3 times a week from next week onwards.

seems like these are the main things that I wanna improve on myself.. I know it's going to be hard. But I'm going to do it.. Every time i blog, I would update on my progress in regards to these flaws of mine.. I'm keen to turn them into flares.. haha.. amibitious huh! I believe i can do it if I put effort into it.. Wish me all the best!! ;p

2008-07-31T18:27:00.003+08:00

They call Las Vegas the Sin City. Gambling, drinking can strip clubs can be found anywhere. We din get to see any stripper though coz of the limited time we have.. I tried invested USD 20 to a jackpot but no luck to win! Unlike Vanessa, who placed 40 bucks to play black jack won 100 plus!

Anyways, as you can see here, there are many porn magazines that are avail there. There are many men on the streets trying to advertise call girls to men etc..

There's a little paris as you can see this tower here. It looks the same isn;t it?
Do I look as though I'm at Italy? This is actually an indoor shopping center. Cool right?
Ooww.. sexy huh. This is a porn star.. TAken from the wax museum! looks real huh.. Sorry guys.. haha
I heard about this club which is pretty cool. However, I wonder why did they use religious statues as their logo? What is the message sent? It turned me off..
Besides the sins.. The weather was extremely hot and humid.. It makes people very easily hot tempered and frustrated! I felt relieved when we arrived Los Angelos! Yippie!

2008-07-31T17:58:00.003+08:00

We reach Arizona in the evening. I drove through in the middle of the night in search for our Lodge in Grand Canyon. We saw many many stars and the night was so beautiful. The moon was surrounded by many little clouds. It was a waste that I did not take a picture of it. Shuz saw 3 deers at the side of the road.. I saw many little animals running across the road. It was a interesting ride. However, driving at night is always tiring..

By the time we reach the lodge, it was about 1 plus 2am. We only had a few hours of sleep before we wake up to see the sunrise of the grand canyon... BUt we persisted and we woke up at 4am to catch the sunrise. The 1st pic shows that the sun is rising but not revealed yet.

THere's the sun!!! I was so excited! The observatory cliff that we were at was quite crowded. Many from Japan. There were couples cuddling together to see the sunrise together. Isn't it romantic??
I love the RAys!! From that day.. My girlie gang called me RAY! Coz i enjoy looking at the beautiful rays!
If you look closely, you can see 2 parts of colorado river from the picture below. The center stretch they called that as a ranch.
Upclose view of the river...
Some people say that Grand Canyon is all about "only rocks". But I really enjoyed every min of it. Listening to the birds chip, the quiet nature, the beautiful scenary uplifted my mood. I could sit there for hours! It's very different from looking at the pics and seeing it yourself on the actual ground. It really makes me appreciate the nature so much more..

2008-07-31T17:37:00.002+08:00

Present to you my glasses!!! It was found!! Our prayers were answered. Vanessa helped me pray before dinner the night i lost this. It was the last day when I decided I should call the lost and found and tata! This was how it looked like when I got it back. Coz I called and verified this was mine, so they wrote my name on it. It supposed to be "RACHEL" anyway. Haha.

At SeaWorld, we saw these cute dolphins diving and swiming with the music. It was so entertaining! Initially, I tot it was pretty cruel to watch dolphins perform coz we dun even know if they are doing them willingly. But later, we realised that SeaWorld serves to protect the sea creatures too.. That's why the animals were there. We can see that they were all being well taken care of too. The performers and the animals' rapport and relationship looked very closed!
There's the Shamu show. As you can see, this is the mama and baby Shamu.. They dancing!
I managed to use the firework mode of my camera to catch these beautiful fireworks. This is one of the best fireworks that we have seen so far...

2008-07-31T16:52:00.002+08:00

The above picture shows the castle that was always shown in walt disney. Nice right... But i din get a chance to enter into the castle from the front. There was an entrance at the back though.
There's the hot fav goofy, minnie, mickey and donald.. I like their attire..

I took a pic with the cowgirls! Aren't they pretty?
THis was taken during the parade.
The night view of the castle. Overall, I tot going to the Magic Kingdom was pretty disappointing as I seem to expect more. The 3D shows, the rides.. were not very fantastic. Maybe that's because they supposed to suit the kids more than adults. However, I like the part when we get to see Mickey and Minnie's houses. I felt very upclose with them.

2008-07-29T18:27:00.002+08:00

I'll start with Orlando. This place is all about theme parks. We hear from people that people can get sick of theme parks after visiting Orlando. Therefore we decided to only go for 3 Theme Parks that are Animal Kindom, Magical and Seaworld. We managed to get cheap rates by spending a few hours at a resort listening to a salesperson to market his time share plan, asking us to buy the apartment from Westgate so that we wun hav to spend so much money for accomodation in future. If Jason was with me, I dun mind getting it!! keke. My excuse was this. So I could reject their offer and get the theme park tickets. Seaworld ticket was free! taken from friend's friend who's also a Singaporean.

Let me begin with Animal Kingdom. I was so excited at I didn't expect to see a musical on Lion King at Animal Kingdom! That's my fav animal movie.. The musical was the 1st show that we watch when we stepped in. During the show.. I felt very touched as all the characters and music which are my old time fav sounded. I felt like a little girl! I wanted to upload these pics long time ago when I was at Las Vegas. But the connection wasn't very fantastic that day.. so there you go as you can see..

I enjoyed the safari ride too where we get to see really animals up close!! Look at the baby giraffe sitting on the grassland.. Isn't it cute?

At night we ate at Rainforest Cafe. It has rainforest atmosphere with animals moving and with different weather.. Cool huh..!! I bought a cup which has lights blinking. I'm going to give this to someone as a souvenir..

Something unfortunate happened here.. I dropped my oakley glasses on with taking a ride. I tot I would not see my 400+ glasses anymore... So it ended with a sad ending.. for the 2nd day of orlando at Animal Kingdom.

2008-07-29T17:23:00.002+08:00

All the way back to snadusky..
Our 1st and last meal with our area manager, Gabe and area supervisor, Julie.. It was a treat from Gabe. He's super nice guy.. Without him, our time working at Cedar Point wun be as memorable..

The picture below shows the Mantis.. This coaster requires the passengers to stand upright.. I nearly suffered a cramp! This was one of my last ride to accomplish all the coasters of Cedar Point. Hooray!!
THe pic is a little blur.. But this was the farewell party held by Carly. Most of us came! It was so cool.. but sad too.. I nearly cried...
THis pic showed the farewell cake that Carly has bought for us.. Most of the people in the pic are SingaporeNS. Check them out..
THat's the sunset view of maverick.. One of my fav rides..
All these pic makes me miss Cedar Point!! Arrggg...

2008-07-28T15:30:00.002+08:00

So far.. I been to a number of states of America. Each state has a different story to tell. I'll begin with Sandusky Ohio. I learnt how to live like an American. I got to work and communicate with the Americans as well as people from all over the world. I thought that was very cool. Meeting different people with different culture. People with disability to make me learn how to appreciate my life even more and stay humble. Handling different kinds of polictics at work etc. The music that was played over and over again from the Jukebox at Coaster's Drive In used to be boring and old fashioned. But now, I missed listening and playing it with my own hands. The people whom I used to work with, most of them were all-rounders who knows how to change the ketchup at the dinning room, do the calling, milk shakes, cook fries, burger and serving them. Most of them are Singaporeans and I felt so at home working with them. At least, the Taiwanese and the people from Ecuador came to take over us. Hopefully they will take over Coaster's Drive In with pride like what most of us did when we were there working.
My co supervisors, Carly and Keith were great partners to work with. Carly has the most experience as it was her 2nd year working there. She could answer all the questions about the restaurant! Keith, like a younger brother to me. He's strict with his workers and tries to get along with the workers very well too.
My final days at Sandusky was very packed but meaningful. I met Marian a very nice lady who brought me to her friends birthday party and then watch a movie. She tthen bought me the soundtrack of mama mia. She was super duper nice! Her birthday friend gave me a few pendants to wear it around my neck. They were really pretty. It was a good experience interacting with the American families. Marian really made me feel what is life like mingling with the Americans.
We have a farewell party at Coaster's Drive In. It was to bid farewell to the Singaporeans as all of them were leaving.
In between the working days, we went to Niagaria Falls, New York, Put-In-Bay, Chicago, Michigan, Cleveland. Before we ended our contract at Cedar Point, I decided to complete all the rides and coasters. I did it except for a few small rides as they dun make me feel anyhing.
AFter leaving Ohio, we headed to Florida, Orlando- visited walt disney -magic kingdom, animal kingdom, seaeworld. On the 1st day I nearly lost my precription glasses. Lucky I got it back before I leaving to Arizona. At Arizona, grand Canyon. I was really breathtaking to see the sun rise!! I saw couples awaiting for the sun to be out. It was so romantic!! Vanessa drove us to Las Vegas where we are here now. Building can be seen. Not as clean as Chicago or New York. But the night life here look really interesting. Will continue to update ya.. I'm super duper sleepy now. HAving running nose.. Can't afford to get sick. If not.. there wun be a more interesting story to tell.. :)

2008-07-16T16:09:00.002+08:00

I've just finished packing my luggage.. kind of prepared to leave this place for good. I used to think that working here was like a torture. Now turning back, I can see happy memories from my 1st day of work till now. Interesting people that I've worked with, be it customers, superiors and friends.
There were times when I thought I would hope to be a normal subordinate and do what you are told. You will get to break the rules for fun and enjoy mingling with your collegues, unlike being a supervisor. However, come to think of it, I am 1 of the few who had the privilege experiencing what is it like being a supervisor at one of the most famous restarant at cedar point.
I enjoyed the trips that we went during our leave/off days. Michigan-Birchrun, New York, Chicago..mini trips such as Nigaria falls and Put in Bay. Time flies so soon. We will be heading to florida next tuesday. I'm doing the planning for this trip. It's going to be fun!!
I'm excited to head home soon coz I would be able to see my love ones.. but.. this means that I got to study le. Haiz. It's going to be overwealming as I have to get back to continue my duty as a president for my dance club as well as prepare for my band performance in school very soon.

2008-07-09T15:59:00.002+08:00

Day 2 of Chicago...

Tiramisu cheesecake indulgence from The Cheesecake Factory.

A gift for my manager..

group photos...

zodiac pic @ chinatown
discussion about where to go....

My new sunglasses!!

night view from Hancock Observatory Tower..

2008-07-08T14:37:00.003+08:00

It was fun play with the reflective bean..

I had a quick bite.. THe burgers are pretty delicious!!

This was the bug that was in the car on our way to chicago. I allowed it to walk on my hand..
Shot of myself just before the policeman came.
the 3 pretties on chicago!!

These are the food that we eat.. It was good!

2008-07-08T13:52:00.006+08:00

Sinagaporeans collegues and a few americans working at coasters...

Coaster's Group Photo... All of them are great people to work with!

It's been so long since I've blogged!! I'm sure many of you are eager to find out what i've been doing right? haha.

I've learnt so much at work being a supervisor, learning how to get along with the staff as well as the supervisors and managers. I had been I had to try to be fair when I had to work with my friends as well as my manager's mother in law is also working at the same place. I love handling these challenges and they would be useful for me to apply in anything that I do in future.

So far, I've been to 3 states. Ohio, michigan, and of coz new york! We went to watch the broadway - Chicago. The songs involved so much jazz songs! I was so happy. I did shopping.. when levi jeans etc. Victoria Secret was the best! At world trade center, I was really sad when i saw the construction going on and the tombstones were opposite it.. I could really felt how the americans lived with sorrow and fear during that period of time.

We were waiting for the grey hound bus to go new york and we were so bored at that time!

THere's what i wore to the broadway show..

A thai lunch at nyc..

My fav coach sling bag!

So much for shopping! Last day of new york city..

I was so happy that I found Chinese food at last!! It tasted like heaven.. @ new york city's china town.

See? THese are the things which I have bought from new york...

My underlying beauty...

My music score books which cost about US 80 in total!!

So much for New York. When I'm back to Ohio.. We dread working again but no choice! We needed money.. I worked hard and now, I'm at Chicago! We were stopped by a traffic policeman just now. Van and me concluded that it could be a good thing to remind the rest that certain documents needed to be brought out whenever we travel. But it was exciting though as he has to chase after us with his police car!

We went to the millenium park followed by the navy pier. We had lunch in giodano! this name supposed to be an apparel brand in Singapore. The pizzas that they sell were really good!

Suddenly, I missed home.. Very frequently, I hear ambulances, police sirens on the streets.. Not that frequent in singapore.. this shows how safe our country is. The multiracial society really adds vibrancy to our country. I've shared so much about Singapore with the people who never heard of it. Many of them complimented us that we can speak good english! I have to thanks our government for that then. HaHa. During this whole session of work and travel I realised how proud I am to be a Singaporean.! Yippie!

I'm trying to upload as many picture as possible now. If not Roy Roy will keep complaining that I never update my blog.. Haha..

2008-06-08T14:28:00.003+08:00

I took this picture to show that I have wear shorts out at last!! coz summer is here!
I explored this harley davidson store near sandusky mall.. very big man. and look at the bikes.. cool right,,
the gals were fell asleep when van and I were in front talking to each other because I had to try to keep van awake as she was driving us to michigan
I look tired huh..
These are the things that I have bought! from Coach, nike, cosmetic products, jockey, bath and body works, levis etc..

The weather in Ohio sandusky is about Singapore's temperature now which means.. it's SUMMER time!! how I hope to experience the cold weather again haha.. bugs are all around now..

shopping in Michigan birchrun was great! van drove there while I drove back.. I love the factory outlets there especially Coach products.. haha

But i overspent i think :x how huh.. got to work harder at cedar point to prepare more for shopping!

gtg now. tml had to work from 8 am.. tired!! bye bye

2008-06-05T12:37:00.004+08:00

hi there.. i'm always looking forward for the off day each week. I've visited Nigaria Falls at last!! Will show you the pictures later..

I haven't been very happy lately.. Being supervisor is one of the worse job a person could ever have. Being at the bottom line, you only need to listen to instructions. But the position that i'm in, I have to listen strictly to my area sup and manager and also give instructions to the staff. My manager is a super nice guy. The area sup used to be friendly, but few days ago, he barked at be for not following his instructions. I was very mad coz i did follow wat he wanted me to do. Just that there were some underlying actions that he wants me to do which I didn't know until he confronted me. He was so unreasonable!! At that point of time, I really question myself why do i need to receive this treatment from him. Anyway, I told him just now that I was very disturbed by him. He said he was frustrated. So if i'm frustrated, could I do the same for him?

My results.. they were not fantastic at all. i got C+ for softball!! 3 B+, 2 B and one A-. I'm a little disappointed though. Coz I worked harder this sem actually.. How I hope Jason could be here with me now.. miss him..

Anyway, I'm going to have my next off day tml.. We r going to michigan and I'm going to take turn to drive with van.. exciting!! nitey..

2008-05-26T10:50:00.002+08:00

The blog is for roy roy.. choose the cards that you want.. msg me k...the limo is actually a cab and that's the cab driver whose name is also jason. but my darling jason more handsome.. ;p

At last i hav time to blog now.. Just finished cooking dinner for the rest. I wanna eat ice cream later!!! tml got to work at 8am again.. Everything seems to be a little messy with the minors around.. anyway, I'm going to make sure that they'll learn all the skills before they go.

i'm at the recreation center now.. they are having ktv session.. all the raps and eng versions.. hah.. interesting.

2008-05-19T08:03:00.003+08:00

the common place where we stay is behind us across the road.. The place which we are standing at is the bus stop which we have to cross the overhead bridge to board the bus to cedar point amusement park.
That's the cork screw!! yet to try it though. see how low it is...
they have a new snoopy place!!
tHis is Liajuana.. she's one of the 1st american in Coastal that I've talked to.. :) saw her walking to the cash control during my off day

the latest news is.. i'm going to be a supervisior at Coastal soon! Coastal is a fast food restaurant which I'm working at. Initially, I came with a mindset to just work like normal worker without ambition. I din expect to be given such a role to play with within just 2 weeks! Anyway, since I'm given this opportunity, I'm going to go for it. However, I've talked to the manager that I still need breaks and off days as I wanna enjoy my stay working here rather than being stressed up.

I'm also slowly picking up my american accent. The americans seem to understand me better. I've tried a few rides so far.. they are really cool! there are a total of 17 rollar coastersl!! Cedar Point is known to have the best rollar coasters in the world!! I've tried RAPTOR, WICKED TWISTER, IRON DRAGON AND WILD CAT!! 4.. 13 more to go.!

THere are a number of things that we got to compromise with each other while travelling with a big group of friends. We have a combined amount to buy food and neccessities.. very interesting huh..

2008-05-19T07:42:00.004+08:00

Hi! It's been a long time seems i've updated my blog. At last I have the time to update it. The biggest setback so far is my rashes!! see? in the pic? it's so disgusting.. it has been so itchy everyday. Until Carly, one of the nicest American friend bought me a cream which healed it! I'm so happy! anyway... I kind of listed a few things that happened at the beginning when i juz reached US. I'm in the state of ohio.. in sandusky and living in the common place and working in a super nearby island called cedar point amusement park.. it's so cool!!

this was what i've saved..
4/5/08
joutney very tiring. Lunkily there us the screens ri entertain us. Therefore

5/508
queue and queue
hungry and cold

6/5/08
First day of work have been fun. We started of waking up too early because
o Cleaning things made of steel
o Meeting Lia
o Cute mike – hero, late for lunch
o Big project – cedar point – technicians
o Lunch – starchy and expensive
o International class orientation - engaging lecturer
o Sandusky mall to buy prepaid card (oppo Victoria secret)
o Driver Jason – who is a boss of taxi company
o Wilmart - 3 hrs shopping, tired and hungry
o Chinese food at Andy’s restaurant
o Jason brought us around the area.

9/5/08
through the pass few days
- cleaning the restaurants again and again. No decision making involved
- learn about the customer service
- sitting in a limousine
- making new friends from laudry. Kenny, chris and zacc
- attend a country music performance
- slight confrontation amg the gals

11.41pm @ Sandusky
- send home
- enjoyed cook dinner
- played rides – enjoyed van, shuz and lynn’s company!
- Dinner – carrot potato soup, French beans with mushroom and steam egg
- Decide to wash uniform but din push uniform in the net I think.. shall check later.. haha

2008-04-29T00:39:00.002+08:00

I decide to blog more today. Over the weekend, I spent time with Jason.. we brought me to the observation lounge for the 3rd time. 1st time was before we got together. 2nd was when we just got together. I find guys very romantic when they bring me to places like that. I feel very happy that night coz he tried to gave me all the attention except he kept messaging at one point of time. haha.
Peiying and Chenting met me last sat for dinner at chimes and chill out at pauler... somthing. The beer was great! German beer.. smooth and has a sweet after taste. I had a great time taking photos and having girlie talks all night. baby was sweet to fetch my friends and I home.
Yesterday, my class had a gathering at sentosa. It was super duper hot! as in the weather. My face is red now.. no need blusher anymore. Had a great time playing with ruoying's son. He so cute! I was thinking how my son will look like if i have a baby.. haha..
5 days away from USA now.. excited to go but can't bare to leave.. like wat lynn told me just now... I'd miss jay especially much.. my bro.. my family.. and friends as well..

2008-04-29T00:28:00.003+08:00

It's been so long since I've blogged! I'm so happy that exams are over! I had a great time studying with Lynn and Van for the last paper. We went for a sushi dinner the night before our last paper.

2008-04-22T14:30:00.001+08:00

I'm having my 1st paper tml... I'm working really hard... Hopefully I'll do well.. hmm...

2008-04-08T10:50:00.002+08:00

yoyoyo! check it out! My dance club appeared in the news and our video is stil in channel news asia wensite. Free do check it out k.. I'm wearing the golden cap.. hehe

Channel News Asiahttp://video2.channelnewsasia.com/cnavideos/multiplevideos_watermark.asp?skin=player1.swf&bgskin=playerbackground.swf&filename=sat02.flv&adfilebefore=cna%20video2.flv&adfileafter=&playmode=S

I'll upload my pictures soon.. Love my club! Love the people.. Jason came to support us.. I'm feel so happy and lucky to have him ard. Without him, things would be different.. :)

2008-03-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

Th pictures above was taken juz now at ang mo kio.. I was on my way to meet my parents for dinner and passed by this KFC. It was already crowded. After my dinner, it was still so crowded! Wat's up with the crowd man?! As though no one has eaten chicken before? Haha..

This is the best picture that I have taken during the SPEA dinner. THe food at York hotel was good.. with the wonderful music played and sang by the band.. keke..

2008-03-30T03:35:00.003+08:00

it has been a very fruitful and good experience for our performance at york hotel today.. despite the fact that haresh the drummer and faizal the bass guitarist wun be able to make it.. I thought our performance was good enough.
I felt the bond between our band members too.. Feel good to know azuan and faizal better again.. had a good session chatting with abt each other families etc. Hope to have more performance to work with them soon.
A man ran up the stage and dance beside me while we were performing.. It kinda scares me.. really dunno wan to do but smile.. after we finished the songs and had to walk down the stage, he asked me to go over to his table.. I just ignored.. Scary! He sounded as though he is commanding me.. Thought he should give some respect to me though.. But i know azuan and faizal will protect me though.. haha.. like my brothers.. felt safe.. thanks to both of them! I'm sure baby will do the same.. just that he had to be a good soldier to standby in his camp.. missing him :)

2008-03-28T00:43:00.002+08:00

Hello! I'm sure you can see 2 black pictures here. I took this for the sake of taking it. Just try to imagine there are many stars! haha! Rosenna had brought me to a romantic place just now. ADM school/building (not sure what it is called). Anyway, that's not the point. Walking up the flight of stairs was exhausting, however, when we reached the tip of the slope and looked up into the sky, it was awesome! Beautiful stars right above me! Too bad the carpet grass was wet, if not I would have lie down on it. When I reach there, the first person I thought of was Jason. I wanna bring and share this lovely place to him. Not sure if he would appreciate this kind of thing though.
Busy day today. Whole day occupied from 11.30am. THank goodness Jason drove me to school. He's getting sick and I'm worried. But I also dun wanna overreact if not I would end up sounding like an old grandmother. ;p Hope he would get well soon.
Dance was great. My passion for dance is growing everyday. I couldn't actually believe where i stand today. I started just liking dance for leisure. Then had a not very good experience at a dance club during my poly days. In NIE, I wanted merely to join and be a normal member in DanceFUzion who wouldn't want to commit much. Initially, I only wanted to dance for fun, not even for performance. COz I perceive very lowly of myself. I always had difficulty remembering steps. Always have stage fright etc. And now, I'm the chairperson of the dance club! Initially, I kinda regretted agreeing in taking up this role. Coz I felt that I'm bad at dancing unlike twinkle who is such a good dancer (which fits the role of a chairperson very well).
However, after having dinner with few of my club members as well as some dancers tonight, I realised something different. I feel very happy to be in part of this dance club with all these wonderful people. AFter being the chairperson, I thought that all the weakness that I have mentioned have been converted into challenges which I would love to face and overcome. Nothing is impossible. Seriously, I thought I've improve slightly and I'm still working hard to improve in terms of stage fright haha. I feel very happy to get to know the dancers better. I hope they would feel the same kind of happiness and attachment the same way as I do. :)
However, I'm going USA soon. Really going to miss so much.. Afraid I might even drift apart from them. In terms of management, I'm sure faizal will do a good job, as well as the rest of the committee members. Just that I'm going to miss them!
Btw, I got back my psychology test paper. Quite satisfied with my results. However, I thought I was quite lucky as whatever I've study came out for the test. But if I had started earlier, I'm sure I would have done better. I'm even more determined to score better for exams.
For volleyball, I din play well today. However, I did my best. Few of my groupmates were not happy. I sometimes really wonder if anger is really needed for such situations. Every min of anger also means you are losing 1 min of happiness. Why choose to be unhappy when you can choose to be happy? THink I should keep reminding myself on this.. So I'd be a happier person too.
another thing! I'm meeting Jenn Yang later with his friends with the christian club. He's going to share something about christianity. I'm just going to listen and see how it goes.

2008-03-26T01:42:00.003+08:00

hmm.. I've felt much happier recently.. coz there are a few projects down by now.. next week is the worst week. But i'm sure I can put it through.. I spent my weekend at a chalet with peiying. Had a good catch up session with my friends. I met Chenting and we are planning to find a way to gather all our primary school classmates.. so exciting.. I wonder how are they now..

My dance club seems to be progressing pretty well too. New dancers are interested to join Dance Fuzion. However, we are now preparing for the performances therefore, some of them may feel left out. I wonder if there's a way to keep them occupied and yet enjoy the session.. hmm..

2008-03-20T23:31:00.002+08:00

I'm so happy today! After the psycho test, I really felt great! Yesterday at this time, i was struggling so hard to study. I only managed to settle down at 11 plus to start to study. By 2 plus, I fell asleep! I can't control myself. Too tired.. Then morning, I completed the rest. Thanks to vanessa, she helped me with 2 chapters and i managed to ans one of the short ans quest. I persuaded her to study something that came out too. Haha.
I've settled my softball assignment too. Volleyball was good too. I managed to get the balls today. My serves are getting better too!
Dance

2008-03-14T01:05:00.002+08:00

I was so happy on the 12/3/08! This was the first time i cook hainanese chicken rice and it was a success. But of coz it's not as good as the hawkers out there i supposed. Dear came to find me in the evening.. We had dinner together and i accompanied him to play soccer. It was his safra league game and I insist that he should go play. After that, we rush off to watch the water horse! it's so cute!
Yesterday, i hated the rain! It was after my tuition and my student asked me if I wanted to call a cab since the rain was so heavy. I insisted on saving my $2.50 and decided to walk out as there would be many cabs passing by usually. However, that didn't happen. My student lent me an umbrella which was leaking and I had to walk all the way to durean rd! It took me some time before I took the cab.. I was drenched by then.
I sacriface not going for dance today. Had to do my SS proj.. I'm so excitied over tomorrow's field trip. Hope our hardwork will be paid off!
Anyway, I was so restless today that I dun feel that I keep losing focus. Quite disappointed with myself today during volleyball. I dun seem to be able to concentrate. Guess I'm just tired. THat's y i dun really feel like going for frisbee this sat.. I have not started anything on my E learning assignments... Shit.. My time management really sux.. arrggg...struggling!
But I will survive! ;p
BTw, for the field trip later, I'm going to wear my ah ma's blouse! My mum lent it to me. It's very dear to her as she is keeping it to remind herself of my grandmother who has passed away many years ago. I still remember how motherly she looked and I will still miss and love her always.. Hope this blouse will bring my some good luck tomorrow! :)

2008-03-10T13:06:00.004+08:00

I've spent a real good time with Jason yest.. we went to watch 10 000 bc. It was great! There's so many things to do!! Last weekend I attended my ex music classmate's wedding. It was Awesome!! It was held at the asian civilization mueseum.. And guess what.. i was rudy! He was from PESS too. He happened to know my frd's husband. We got to know a few new friends and took pictures together. Check out the night scene there.. so nice!
During the solemnisation, the pastor mentioned that for a woman to love a man, she has to understand her man very much but just have to love a little. However, for a man to love a woman, one has to love his woman very much but understand a little. That's because, there are so many things that women would do when man just couldn't rationalize their actions.. haha.
We also got to accept the fact the god made man and woman for a reason. The man is there to help make decisions for the family. That doesn't mean that women doesn't have a say.. they can offer suggestions and man has to listen to consider their wive's ideas before making a decision. The pastor also said that man often hopes that his wife will not change (stay pretty forever), and woman hope that man will change their characters for the better. However, we have to face the fact that all these ideals wun work. In fact very minimal possibilities.. It was interesting to listen to him. My frd's husband sang and played the piano as a gift for his wife. While Eliz, my gal friend was giving her thank you speech to her family, she teared. I was very touched too. Anyway, I enjoyed myself that night.
Before that I was with Lynn at Chinatown heritage center doing our assignment. We went for massage after that.. Felt really good!

2008-03-08T03:13:00.002+08:00

I had a great time at the army museum today.. but had to rush for tuition.. Grace's results have not been good.. there must be a way to improve her concentration span.. I'm trying a way now.. c if it works.. I had a good long talk with darling. It has been really long since we talk.. Then my bro accompany to eat dinner.. i'm tired now.. so many things to do.. shall do it tml... nitey..

2008-02-29T00:25:00.003+08:00

Hi,
I'm so disappointed with myself today. I submitted my essay latest. I feel that there's so many other things to write but juz not enough time to do so. I really dun understand, I did this 3 days ago.. but of coz things are still not done. I spent too much time on reading the reference books and started late writing. It's so irritating. haiz. angry with myself.
This afternoon, I met up with my dance club committee members. They were all very nice people. I thought the ,makan session was really a good getting to know each other session. Btw, it was at SAkuRA international buffet restaurant. I had a great time mingling with them. We were able to stick to the the 1 hour meeting plan. It's 1 hr 15 mins actually but good enough with so many things to settle. I see a bright future for our club and I'm so happy!
Later, I took a cab and rushed for tuition, den took cab again to amk to have a crab feast with ruoying, lapyin, eric, van, swee bin and bf. Each had to pay about 45 bucks. Expensive rite! but i enjoyed the food very much. I would have enjoyed it better if i had finished my essay. aarrrggg.. I better start improving on my time management.. if not working skill. I feel that I dun have the motivation to don assignments that involves writing! I must change this perception. I should ENJOY...ENJOY ENJOY!!!
Dear's not coming back today.. miss him... he sounded so serious juz now.. I hope things are fine there.
I'm really worried abt the terrorist escape.. hope he would be caught soon..

2008-02-24T04:04:00.002+08:00

Hi,
I've just came back from supper. Had mee sua from upper changi rd.. Darling promised me to bring me there and he did! That cheered me up. I had dinner with my family at amk just now. I realised I really missed them. But I dun really know how to express to them. I shared with them about what i learnt from sports psychology. I love to share abt this coz it's my fav module for this semster. haha..
I bad news it i realised that i'm a high ego person. I hav to try to switch to both high to be a happier person. Maybe that's due to the way we are being brought up. My parents always compare me with others from young and that formed the way i am today. And when i compare and i am not better, i'll get very much affected. I think this is really bad for me and i have to improve on this man.. I wanna be a happier and better person!
Just now, I did not give dear a good night kiss coz i'm afraid of being rejected by him in front of his frd. But he was kind of affected and I was glad that we talked abt it. At least we hav common mindset and we wun hurt each other.
I had to teach nana and grace tuition tml.. jiayou! Dear has 3 soccer games.. we will all be busy.
Oh ya! just now my dad accidentally spill the discus fish water in the car.. I was so scared that dear will be angry.. luckily he was forgiving enough.. really appreciate him for that. hehe

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-02-22T03:04:00.001+08:00

2008-02-19T23:10:00.003+08:00

I've been so busy from yesterday till today! no time to breathe and sleep.. But it's all over now. Completed an assignment and 2 theory tests. I had the 1st dance committee meeting yesterday. I'm very excited to be in charge of the committee and will do my very best achieve our goals. Yippie! At least I have a new challenge to face for the semester.
I have yet to share about my valentine's day celebration. We went suntec and had a meal and watched movie. The bad news was we lost a stack of gv tickets. So sian..
Going to sleep early. gtg nitey.

2008-02-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

Guess what.. dear called me 5 mins before 12am. I thought he was going to talk to me till the clock strike 12.. but he didn't.. haiz.. he was at his friends' place. He initiated to hang up the phone.. Anyway, I counted down myself and called him. Keke. I wish, every step we take will bring us closer in anyway, be it fights or hugs. Understanding, respecting and supporting which reflects true love for each other.. how good it would be if actions could be done as easily as how words are being said.. :)

2008-02-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

Hello,
haiz... back in school. I'm still feeling a little weak. Today we had softball assessment. Felt that I didn't play well today. so sian. Later, i went for dance. I'm the chairperson for Dance Fusion from next week onwards. Not very sure why i took this post. But I thought it would be another good challenge for me.
I've been very temperamental lately and Jason has been very tolerant. He brought me for tuition and den school today. He waited for me to finish tuition outside my student's hse! Haiz. Time fly so fast! we are also a yr together! I really hope we can stay happy forever. Still put in effort in our relationship and not take each other for granted. Haiz, I'm think about my USA trip. Although i'm very excited over the trip, I'm also a little half hearted now coz of him. Going to miss him..
I feel so slack! Better pull up my socks and work hard. TML is jay and my 11 months anniversary. And also my cousin, yan yan's birthday. Going ktv at orchard. Think I better rest early.. gtg bye bye..

2008-02-09T14:36:00.000+08:00

hello! I'm proud to announce that I've recovered from my stupid fever! yesterday was a nightmare.. had to go visting despite my headaches and dizziness. I din hav appetite to eat anything at all. However, I had to force myself to eat as I dun wanna be rude. It was a torture..

My final destination was to go dear's place. My parents actually asked me not to go because I was really feeling unwell. However, I insisted coz i dun wanna disappoint them.

Dear kept me company most of the time and I appreciate it. I took medicine at his place twice and recovered! I dunno y.. although he has been by my side throughout when i'm sick, i still feel that something is missing. am i not receptive anymore, or is it him who is not as affectionate as before? or have we drifted apart without knowing? or has our past arguments caused us to become the way we are now?

At this point of time, he always makes me feel i'm in the wrong somehow or another. I feel that my expectations of him is getting higher and higher. And i think this is really unhealthy coz this would lead to many disappointments when he couldn't reach them. Therefore, I've decided to chill and let loose. He keeps saying i'm possesive and sticky.. guess I'll change that too. Maybe it's safer to be the type of gf I used to be..

being in love many times before
mould and change the gal for more
change is good or bad for the future
time will reveal and too late to undo
love has the power to bring us to heaven
it can also force us to travel to hell
being able to live happily ever after
is just another fairytale story to tell..

2008-02-08T11:25:00.000+08:00

haiz.. I am still sick since yesterday and it's new year! haiz.. Hope I'll recover soon.. Darling came to accompany me last night.
During the eve, my bro, dear and i went chinatown! I was really crowded. I'm very happy that I got to meet up with my relatives whom we only meet once a year. Well, I'm just going to forget abt my illness and go visiting.. wanna fully utilize this holiday. dun wanna stay at home at all. I took many photos.. shall upload when i'm free.

2008-02-06T01:01:00.000+08:00

well.. dear and i have come to the point when we realised our differences and it's really up to us to settle our differences. He told me a few things abt me today which he can't stand. As promised, I tried not to say anything anymore, although there r many things which i wanna say. I just dun wanna quarrel. What he says maybe right.. but i wonder if he thinks abt why i do certain things or aren't he interested to know my point of view? Guess silence seems to solve our argument. is this method of talking things out going to solve the prob? Actually this was the same painful cycle i went through the past.. and things din turn out well. Hope this vicious cycle will not repeat again...

2008-01-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

I really had a good time last SATURDAY!! It was a busy day. I went for manicure and ended up doing my hair and make up. Thanks to Zyma my make up artist. She's so nice.. However, I rushed like mad. Took a cab and asked the uncle to wait for me outside my house while i get my clothes for my performance.

During the rehersal for the PESS BASH, I sang Lynn part. Keke. Too excited le. I was always scared for dance la. Din really practice for this performance. The Best thing is, I made a mistake during the dancing in the moonlight. Luckily, I just kept smiling. haha. Hopefully no one knows except for my band members keke. FOr zombie, none of us made mistakes. Hooray! Dr Bala commented that we were the best band! I felt that the hard work that we did really paid off yesterday. A little disappointed because my band din get to finish another 2 songs.

My darling was in time for my dance. He was there for all my performance that day. I really felt loved and support by him. After bash, I just kept drinking. keke I wanna have fun! I dared to drink because I knew dear dear was there to protect me. I still rem him asking me about marriage. It was so sweet. But I'm not taking it as a formal proposal. haha. I know darling can do better than that. ;p

I went to look for my cousins and saw my sec sch friends around.. PLayed 7 ups witht the degree

yr 2s. It was so fun! Drank lambogini before i played and after losing a few more rounds i started feeling tipsy. keke.

I'm so happy and touched because honey was there throughout for me although he doesn't like to club anymore. I'm sure he doesn't enjoy as much as I do.. when i asked him, he said that when he sees me that happy, he's also happy! I love him! :)

2008-01-24T02:39:00.000+08:00

Hiya.. today is one of the moodiest day of my life! Maybe it's because i'm having PMS. I felt hurt many times today. It seems like I'm easily offended. Feeling that i'm the worst person on Earth! However, I've got to see a clearer picture on many things and feel better now.
Anyway, Lynn and I would be singing together on Sat. I thought it was a good idea as i wouldn't feel so nervous with a partner around. After practising together, I felt that we could sing much better than when I'm singing alone. Will be looking forward to sing with her on Sat.
We won ICG netball today. When I just arrive, Jean passed me the center position. I felt quite disappointed when few of my friends seem to lose faith in me. Of coz i wun play better than Jean.. but at least dun show me the "huh.. y u dun play let rachel play center" that kind of look. At that time, we were already leading by 6 balls i think. After much tot, I think, everybody has different goals when playing game. Jean wants to do her duty as she was in charge of netball, the rest of us are playing all out to win. Maybe that's y they were afraid that losing her in the team for that game would be risky. But luckily i didn't really create any major mess. I got to catch a number of balls over to our attacking side.. I'm too emotional, too sensitive, i know.. easily affected by surroundings. but a normal person would feel the same if he/she were me right?
few hours ago, lynn and I were learning singing from van's sis! there's so many techniques to learn.. But it's interesting..
Just now i was so sad and darling was so sweet to listen to my worries and cheered me on. I felt so much better after talking to him. Though we can't meet up, I know he'll be there for me.
Swee bin was so nice too. She could sense that I was very moody and asked if i'm ok.. she's such a caring frd.. going to pay it forward.. :)

2008-01-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since i blog.. My class had won 2nd for frisbee interclass game. I caught and earned the 1st point for the finals. I'm starting to slack during class! But i can't stop my momentum now.. I still wanno do well.. Haiz.. dunno y i feel moody today. Happy that dear came to see me at sch though. He doesn't seem to praise me anymore.. sad.. only made fun of my negative points.. even entering a door he also can criticise.. is it me or is it him? Just take it that i'm having my PMS.
I'm excitied about sat's performance. going to dance and play the band. At least these are things to distract me from all my worries and unnesssary stuff..
I've visited the national bowling federation. Wendy, the general manager is a super friendly person. Had a great time talking to her.
The bad news is, I lost my ring.. hope i can find it soon..

2008-01-17T01:34:00.000+08:00

I'm back! I've finished jogging for almost an hour today! But i felt hungry and had to cook instant noodles. dunno it has defeit my purpose for exercising to lose weight. Think I'm really motivated and till now.. though it's only the 2nd week, i'm still enthu about it. Lib is my 3rd home now, besides my own hse, hall and darling's place. haha. But today i din visit the lib. I went to mph to pract volleyball. Andre gave me many useful teaching cues like the ball has to be above ur forehead, my hands have to face each other and cushion and cup it and den extend upwards together with your legs etc. However, I suffered more bruises on my arm. See the pics!

During softball lesson, I learnt new knowledge abt the use of shortstop to tag player during forced play. batter will always take the longest time to run to their base as they can't steal their bases. We also did crossover which I had to move our non dominant foot to our dominant side to catch the ball with our glove. If the batter did not touch the ball and the catcher catches it, the catcher has to tag the runner running from the 3rd to the homebase. He/she should not step on the base as the runner is stealing the base. If it's a fly ball, the fielder can either tag or step on the base that the runner is running to.

After lesson, we went to watch hall 6 play bball. It was quite an interesting match. Van was playing. The members were very encouraging and pretty united. Managed to see how Jack play. So passed several nice passes. It was so cool!

After that I went back down to the hockey pitch. Went to throw some frisbee as well as supporting rosenna's class. Their class consisted of different talents such as fastest sprinter in singapore, national soccer player, basketballer and a few all arounders. They won 2 games and lost 1. My class would be playing tml. HOpe we'll have enough people for the game. THe more the merrier.

I've not talked much with dear dear since the day he came and look for me in ntu. He was so sweet to help me get my jersey and drove all the way here to pass it to me as i needed it for the following day for games and class photo. I brought him to the highest point in NTU and we spent sometime chatting. As I saw him so tired, i couldn't bear but to ask him to go home and rest early. He had just finished one of his quite shiong exercise.. He sounded so tired. Hope he's ok. Looking forward to see him during the weekends.

We have taken our class photos.. Yippe.. check it out!

2008-01-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

Know why am I uttering all the rubbish letters... coz van was stamping on my keyboard!!! arrggg.. naughty gal!
I was saying.. everytime i woke up, i checked my hp, hoping to see Jason's message.. till morning.. i din receive any from him. However, he eventually told me that he was very busy the whole day.. I din really had time to talk to him too until at night. I'm getting more and more irritated by my hp. The reception of it sux.. I dun get to call out or message several times. Then I'm always afraid I might miss any important calls, especially from him. He doesn't sound very happy today.. guess he was bored with the blackout at his camp, it makes the situation worse..

Well, for my side, school has been great. I enjoyed practically every lesson. Tried to pay attention so far.. except that there are a few lecturers which worries me. Anu mentioned that this year, I seemed very paranoid.. Perhaps i am.. coz I trying too hard to make everything work out for me. I wanna get good grades etc.. But maybe this would help me to do better with stress.

This year, my resolutions are as follows
1) Punctuality -> now, it's not only for lesson, but everything, inclusive of dates, meetings etc.. This would certainly help me with my time management skills. :)
2) Study hard and play hard -> getting gd grades is my aim. I'll try to do my sch work during week days and enjoy my weekends with my love ones. But I love to enjoy my life as well..
3) PAss my music grade 7 pract exam -> which means I have to pract my music be confident when i enter the exam room
4) Save $$ -> I need to learn how to keep track of how much i earn and spend in order to save
5) Be a good gf -> well I wun have as much time to spend my dear dear. However, I should still give him my support in everything he does, show my care and concern plus understanding. Shall try not to be possesive. Haha. Maybe not possesive, but PARANOID. Keep asking if he still loves me.. coz I need lots of assurance. Ma fan right.. keke. But I know darling loves me and he will do his best to do anything for me. (rite dear? if u r reading? ;p) I will do the same.. coz i love him too :)
6) Be a good daugther and sis -> spend more time with my family
7)Be a kinder person -> Try not to be too skeptical. Sometimes i think too much. I may be oversensitive at times. Help my friends when i can.. Listen to them when they need me.. Not to friends. Do anything good to help people who r in need.

I'll add more if there are more.. But guess 7 of them are enough for the year.. I wanna be a better person. Looking forward to do it! Yeah! I'm tired le... going to sleep now.. bye!

2008-01-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. 2 days of school have passed.. I've not met Jason for 3 days.. I was a little disppointed as I messaged him last night and was expecting a reply at least this morning. I woke up several times at night and looked at my mnbvcxbfng,kj.l;ljhgfrtyuiopiuyuttu6ufghjknmkrthn56re7utwyq2srxf3frwdfgjvi.lohn;' po/hgi76ykjtvugk,jboulyi/ p;i tyguojg ouilyhn ipoin "
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2008-01-08T01:19:00.000+08:00

Look at these Photos! With my new haircut, i went to meet xiuzhen for sushi buffet at toa pa yoh.. Then, i went to meet roy in town. He accompanied me there to buy the swaroski crystal for my dear.. the photo with jason behind-- i didn't know he came and he gave me a shock after my bro took the photo! Haha.. My baby is stuck in camp now.. confinement.. so dun get to see him for a week.. Today was my 1st day of sch and went to sch not to attend lesson but to settle my timetable. I nearly din get to do softball! Luckily everything was settled. Thankfully.
I think I better come out with some resolution for this year. At least there are things to motivate me. Recently i felt life being boring again.. THink something is wrong with me.. Maybe the expectation of me of life must be always colourful.. THis time, I want it to be more meaningful to make a better person.. I will think abt it and blog again tml.. A lot of reflections needed here.. haha

2007-12-30T03:11:00.000+08:00

Everything seems to be quite unstable between dear and me these days.. Both are at fault I think.. But we've talked things out and I really hope whatever we have agreed to do would be done to improve our relationship.. Guess if we are serious about this relationship, then we should take each other's words seriously..
There will always be a phase when partners would just take each other for granted and we just have to gently remind each other how to resolve the problem. We know that we love each other. But we have different ways of showing love to each other and demand different ways of receiving love from each other. It's all about complementing each other I guess..
Yesterday, my love had BBQ at his place. I almost the whole day with his mum to prepare the food for him. It was quite fun yet tiring. He seemed to enjoy himself.. I feel happy when he's happy.. :)
I just came back from prata shop. Saw adrian from ZPS. Asked him to plan another gathering session. Den I saw Steven, who is my classmate from poly. He dun seem to recognise me though..keke But I'm happy to see familiar faces around..

2007-12-23T00:34:00.000+08:00

Guess wat.. The school held my results because I did not pay for my hall fees! Yesterday, with darling, we sent to the finance office to pay up the fees and wanted to surf the wireless to c my results. Guess what, there were some configuration prob and i had to go the library. Irritating isn;t it? haiz.. anyway, when i saw my results, I saw an A- for my critical perspective module which I thought I would be able to get it.. I was pretty pessimistic as I tot that is going to be the only A- throughout the 5 modules. Immediately, darling ran away with my laptop keeping me in suspense.. I had to ran around the library to search for him!! Anyway, I was quite surprised. I had A- for Social Studies as well as basketball! Yippie.. the next 2 modules were B+.. This is the first time having 3 A- on the report card.. keke. Shall work harder the next semester..

Darling and I had went suntec to search for his friend's wedding gift. There were some displays which i find them very nice from a jewellery company.. The angels were beautiful..

We decided to go orchard instead.. swarvoski.. and bought the crystals... They were beautiful! We went around taking lots of photos in orchard.. so fun! we played icecream like little kids.. Watched Red Line.. Nice movie..

Today I was the mc for the music concert recital. it went pretty well.. I met darling straight at rendevous hotel for the ROM ceremony of Weiming.. They seem very happy.. I'm also happy for them.. Next darling and me went marina square. We briefly walked through and headed to amoy street for my waxing session! darling offered to pay the package for me yippie! I'm going ot treat him koshimbo lunch at suntec in return. I feel that he really adores me as he knows i'm really broke now.. I told him in future when I have my earnings, I wouldn't have to depend so much on him already.. ;p

I realised we have him arguing lately.. the things he said has begun to offend him at times. I wonder y? Perhaps now we have come to a stage where he is so used to me and he feels comfortable joking all the time.. Well, I liked my honey's humour. It bring joy to my life. However, there are really times when i really need him to be serious and make me feel loved by him...I know he loves me. But we gals just need assurance. "Kind words bring laughter and joy to people" I learnt this from the church I was teaching music there. Well, everything needs a balance to it.. I dun expect darling to be serious all the time.. It'll be so boring! keke. Just wan him to be sweet at times to melt my heart.. Haha.. A little effort of doing it will made me happy :)

As for me, I think I've been quite petty recently, coz I wanted Darling to be more sentimental but he jokes about almost everything which includes things which I'm sensitive about caused me to be frustrated. Guess my expectations makes me lose my temper. I guess i just have to chill and give my love a chance to express himself in his own way.. We shall compromise, instead of expecting him to do certain things and end up showing him a black face when he doesn't do it, I'll express myself and tell him what i really love and hope we can figure and try to work things out together. If we love each other, we'll be able to work it out! Whatever dear has done for me has been greatly appreciated.. Till now.. Will not take him for granted for sure..

2007-12-20T05:05:00.000+08:00

I'm still awake now coz i'm waiting for my hair to dry up. I supposed to know my exams results by today. However, I can't access the link to c the results! May have to go down to sch on friday. I went with darling and his friends to the cage just now. It was pretty cool! I wanted to play but dear din invite and I also too shy to ask. But i sweat a little by trying all the juggling and stuff. Missed playing soccer with my galfriends suddenly. Haha..
Btw, I injured my right thumb. I was already injured during ICG basketball. Joanna accidentally held on to my thumb just now and i heard a "crack"! It was super duper painful until I couldn't resist my tears rolling down my cheeks. Anyway, I went to the chinese physician and she did acupunctural for me.. It was painful.. but now it's getting better. I hope.. Darling was patient when i was pretty grumpy just now.
I was glad to know billy's gf and xiao yan.. they were very friendly and nice gals! It was pretty fun talking and gossiping. Shall get to know them better soon. :)

2007-12-19T01:03:00.000+08:00

today, i went for my dance at studio wu.. I went there at the wrong time.. din know the class supposed to start at 3pm.. anyway, we learnt jazz dance today. It was very challenging as i din have any ballet background. But I still enjoyed dancing. Later, my dear gave me a surprise by picking me up from the dance studio.
Next we went to suntec to buy presents! secrets for now.. I learnt a few interesting stories from dear.. there's a teacher who asked a student if a jar which is filled with rocks can fill up the jar anymore. The student said no. Teacher went to takes small little pebbles and poured it in and the pebbles entered the jar through the gaps between the stones. Next Teacher ask if the jar could be further filled up. The student said no again. This time, Teacher took fine sand and pour into the jar.. The moral of the story is about knowing your priority right. If fine sand is placed in 1st, the stones and the pebbles will not be able to enter into the jar at all. Same for the little pebbles. Therefore, in our lives, it is possible to have everything that you want to achieve, but it is about the way you manage and set your priority.
i saw the night view of suntec. it was beautiful..

2007-12-16T20:02:00.000+08:00

Well.. I'm glad that I have been busy with the isg.. I felt that my frisbee skills has deteriorated. Tml is our final game and I wanna play well. I'm going to do my best. Haiz.. i feel very fat. Everyone is saying i'm fat.. feel quite shitty. Anyway.. I've signed up with a slimming prog and I'm curious to c how much i can lose through the process. I wanna have not only a slim body but also a toned body. That's more healthy. I can't believe I'm signing up for this kind of stuff. keke. I met darling for lunch. Thought it was pretty sweet when he came and look for me without his car. For a change, we took a bus..

This week, there were number of incidents that cause hurt between us. In the past, when i feel hurt, I'll start to back off. But this time, I felt that this relationship is not about me anymore. That's selfish. It's about Jason and me. It wouldn't be fair to him if he puts in effort and I'm not. ANd I'm going to handle my relationship properly this time. I'm not going to give up but backing off. THat will not solve the problem. Communicating would. But i takes 2 hands to clap too. And we would put in the effort to improve our relationship by compromising and listening to each other. He said that we were afraid of losing each other that is why we ended up hurting each other.. well at least both of us admitted our mistakes and moved on.. However, all these are good tests for us. It really shows how much we mean to each other.

Just now, I went with my family to the temple. After praying, we went to see wayang. I dun really understand what they were trying to do. It seems like a trailer or something. I only remember them walking and galloping around and saying "Ha ha" here, "Haha" there. Haiz.. Had a hard time understanding and deciphering their actions. My grandmother is a great fan of wayang.. She bought tickets to go there to watch the shows.

Later, we went to look for the L shaped sofas. I had our dinner along paya lebar road. It was quite nice! next to the shop there's tis traditional confectionary. Check this out!

2007-12-15T02:30:00.000+08:00

i can't sleep..
although I'm tired
Is there really that much to think?
I wonder..
Why am I still unhappy
when my love has been nice to me
just by looking at girls
it made me angry
No matter how petty or jealous a gal can be
I never thought it would happen to me
It's better for me to change it for better
and love each other forever.

2007-12-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

I'm so happy today! I scored 2 goals for my team.i scored one JUMP SHOT n 1 LAY UP.I felt i've contributed to the team at last.I was glad tat i invited rosenna to join us.Initially she was quite reluctant about going for isg.however,she scored a goal today too n seem to enjoy the games we played.tomo we r going to play our FINAL n neverless to say i'm going to play hard o help the team to get the CHAMPION! i felt tat i've improve alot on about staying calm during competition settings.believeing in oneself is also important n tats when your teamates will trust n believe 'YOU CAN'. Our captain's ball did really well too.. we won by a point 10-9. close though. I din really play as those who went for the past games played 1st.
my DArling has been very supportive.without fail he msg me aLL the good luck wishes n support! just now its was raining heavily n he msg tis
"every drop of rain represent how much i miss ya. Look out of the window and ya know how much i miss ya" Isn't that sweet? keke..

2007-12-09T17:41:00.000+08:00

hmm.. I've been involved in Inter-School Games lately. I joined basketball, tennis and captain's ball. I play the second game for bball and although I didn't score any points I felt great because I thought I managed to pressure me defenders pretty well that day.. As for tennis.. I thought it was really crazy for me to join coz i had no prior background except that I just learnt it last semester.. We had several walkovers and ended having the 3rd position. For tennis, it's not really abt winning but enjoying the game.. haha.. my love for tennis has increased again. Yippie!
I'll be playing captain's ball tml.. hopefully we'll have fun then. haha.
Darling has always been so sweet.. THere was once in the middle of the night when i had cravings for soup and brought me out to drink soup. hehe.. He has been paying so many things for me coz he knows I'm broke.. haiz.. Hate the financial state i am in now.. He made me feel so comforted when he says he's going to take care of me and "yang" me.. :)
Yesterday, he chose to accompany my parents than to go play soccer. I really appreciate what he has done for me.. love him so much.. I'll treasure him.. :)

2007-12-05T23:51:00.001+08:00

haiz.. honeymoon is over.. darling doesn't give me the same attention anymore. Is it because I've given too much that things would be taken for granted? He only wants to watch TV now.. all he cares abt is he's TV prog.. sad..

2007-12-05T00:52:00.000+08:00

yoz..
I feel very happy! I've cleared my dance performance the day before yesterday at sentosa for PESS's olympic workshop.. I didn't make any mistakes.. I'm so happy! THe hardwork really pays off. I enjoyed making so many beautiful friends from the dance troupe. Everyone seems so united and no one is left out.. My dear dear even came to c me perform although he was a little late.. haha ;p He was so kind.. offered to drive 5 of my friends home..
Just now.. in the evening, I went to see darling play soccer. I met one of his friends who shared with me a few words of advice. He told me that in order to have a good marriage, both parties must have trust and commitment from each other. He had a divorce with his exwife 3 yrs ago with a son. Now he has a gf who stays with him and he also had the custody of his son. He was generous enough to allow his exwife to meet his son anytime he wants. Wanna guess y he chose to divorce? His wife cheated on him.. How sad right.. it was at the period with he had to work for long hours to climb up the hierarchy to ensure a good pay for his family to survive. And guess how long had they dated? 7 yrs! This really shows that time does not determine you relationship would last forever.. Besides commitment and trust, I'd like to include communication. Without it, both parties wun be able to be together too..
From my dance troupe, there's this gal named Alan, she only knew her husband for 3 weeks and he proposed to her! She agreed and they are now still happily married.. REally envy them.. I hope i'd also end up like them..
My kor kor just now called to ask how i was.. he was saying Jason has the capability of taking care of me and say that after my studies, soon he would be expecting a marriage annoucement from me.. haha.. I really hope my relationship with jason would be a everlasting one.. BY the way.. he bought me a set of braun buffel wallet for an advance christmas present.. I gave me the biotherm products real advance.. haha love him la!

2007-11-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

hi there.. long time no see.. I guess i'm in love again.. i have always been in love.. but the feelings of being excited over being in love seems to be coming back.. haha sounds crazy right? We have discussed many things lately. Over wat we aim to do in future.. how are we going to manage our finance, and how to love each other more.
I learnt 5 types to ways to express your love to someone. 1) touch 2) words 3) showering gifts 4) actions 5) providing time
For this relationship, I felt that I have provided a lot of time and actions. Touch, words and gifts come after that. I want my partner to give me more of words and actions, followed by touch, time and gift.

AS for dear dear, he told me he would like me to give him actions and touch, followed by words, time and gift. I feel that knowing the needs of your partner is very important. If u really love a person, you would try all ways of fulfilling your partner's need to make him or her feel happy.

There's another surprise given by him. Darling is going to sub a credit card for me! yippie! I tot it is good for me to publish it out here as a black and white proof. I appreciate that he trusted me so much. I'm going to promise him if i happen to use the card, I'll pay my bills for sure! Promise! :)

I'm worried abt darling.. in order to slim down, he didnt; take regular meals.. it worries me. Must make sure he eats proper meal.. As for me.. i still eat as usual.. but growing fatter and fatter.. that sux.. must do somethign abt it..

I've been watching Heroes.. so interesting. At least i've finished watching.. now i can concentrate and study for my examinations.

I felt super jealous yesterday. saw love letters and pictures of darling and his ex.. At least he was kind enough to throw them away.. if he didn't i wun force him to do it too.. perhaps those were memories which he would like to keep too..

2007-11-11T03:19:00.000+08:00

I'm so happy today! My party was a real sucess! I din really expect things would really turn out so nicely! My poly friends, obs, nie and sec sch frds came.. Although I did not really talk much to each group as i was busy moving from one grp to the other, it was a gd gathering session for the groups themselves. I totally enjoyed myself! I hope the rest did too. There were many talents within the groups. Magicians, musicians, comedians.. they were gd enough to bring up the spirit of my guests. I have Cat to help me take pictures, they rest jus cling amg themselves.. My parents were great! They helped me a lot! serving people food and entertaining them. I was so happy to meet careen and quibing whom i lost touch with long long time ago. Andrew kor and Peter still came to support me as usual. Darling came to join us after his soccer. I dun mind him playing soccer. That's his passion so i should nv try to stop him unless he wants to do it himself.
I really got to thank especially darling.. Without him, the whole thing wouldn't have started. He was the one who made me change my mind abt ago

2007-11-06T11:14:00.001+08:00

I feel so blessed and so lucky suddenly.. Yesterday, darling asked me to continue to plan for my birthday party.. I was quite doubtful that the pple who i invite will come.. I told him that not many friends might turn up for my party. Guess what he said.. he said that the most, he will bbq with me.. just the 2 of us.. HAha.. how sweet! He's so encouraging! love him la.. although these are just simple words.. but these kind words made my day!
My brother will definitely be doing his magic tricks for show on sat.. haha. I messaged many of my friends.. of coz there are people who can't turned up. I also dun wanna hav much high hopes. But unexpectedly, there are people whom i tot will not come told me they are coming!! I'm so happy.. Long lost frds like Careen, Quibing.. they are coming.. There are few good frds who offered to help out before the party itself.. my cousins geraldine and bro would be coming too.. CAt is going to be my photographer.. everything seemed so right.. I haven told my parents yet.. I'm short of cash too.. hopefully they could help me out a bit.. Darling offered to buy cake and even catering.. But i see if it's necessary first.. must help him save money too..
He asked me wat i want for birthday.. it's weird telling him wat i want.. I dun really need any expensive gift.. It's the heart that counts.. the love that he can shower me with.. the faithfulness and trust that he gives me can be considered as the best gift anyone could receive..
The love that my family, boyfriend, relatives and friends has given me really made my life so complete.. I wanna feel this way forever... Without one of the aspect.. things would be different..

2007-10-29T12:21:00.000+08:00

i enjoyed my last weekend so much! except the part when I was ill. I spent my whole sat in NIE for handball carnival.. Darling went with me.. I was so glad! enjoyed the time spent together. We still went out after that.. super tiring but fun day. Sunday was a busy day for me.. had to go for music lesson, teach music as well.. I felt weak when teaching and realised that i had fever when i reached home. I realised my family showed so much concern for me that i felt very adored and loved.. Darling was also with me.. though he still went to play soccer.. but it doesn't bother me coz i know he still cares and i wouldn't want him to sacrifice his soccer coz of me.. that would be really selfish on my side.. He asked me to pass him my best photo.. i wonder wat is it for.. will go and print it later..

2007-10-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

I donated blood again today! so happy! This time although i still feel a little dizzy and pale.. it wasn't as bad as the 1st time i went where i had to lie down on the bed. Keke.
Was late for lesson today. Van, Lynn and I was playing in our room yesterday. Played till 4.30am la! they almost raped me! haha.. pillow fights and stuff..
Anyway, I'm home now.. I saw my ah ma.. she can walk without any support.. coolhuh.. I so happy for her. Her dreams of watching wayang is back. But of coz she must make sure she can walk properly before she goes out.. I still got so much to study for soccer.. worried sick.. Must jiayou already!

2007-10-24T03:22:00.000+08:00

i juz came back from tang shui at zion rd.. was quite full so din get to appreciate the food there. Supposed to go with lynn and van.. Surprising darling joined me! so sweet.. He wasn't feeling well though I feel bad.. i rather he stay at camp and rest.. But seeing him cheered me up too.. He drove us using his frd's car.. evolution blar blar if i'm not wrong.. so exciting! Although we only met for a while, I really feel happy. I wonder if he feel the same way or it's a drag.. haiz.. I'm so negative.. I need assurance again.. But I appreciate his efforts.. feel touched.

2007-10-23T18:19:00.000+08:00

Haiz.. so sian.. yesterday.. my soccer i din do well for practical. I really hope I can get an A for soccer.. though i know it's quite impossible. I had basketball individual assessment just now.. I really regret not practicing when i had the time in the past.. feel so shitty.. layups which i always take successfully were unsucessful juz now.. I feel damn sad lar.. I wan an A for basketball.. I joined bball in sec sch.. I tot having the background will help me with my grades and I'm determined to get it.. I'm going to study real hard for my the tests...
another thing.. I dunno y.. yesterday, i felt disappointed. Darling came and pick me up from sch and we had dinner together. Then he drove home and he had to leave with his frd for camp.. I tot i could spend more time with him! But his reasons were valid..no choice. He got to reach camp early, can't enter camp in wee hours.. I realised how selfish i was. Only think of being with him and nv consider abt the constraints.. I kept of thinking abt the past where he could spend time with me and go back camp early in the morning. Why can't he do it now..
Are there any differences? Is it because at that time, it was the beginning of our relationship so it supposed to be so sweet..
Anyway, I ought to be understanding too.. maybe things are more complicated now coz i had to attend sch in NTU now.. so far.. then he also tot of lending me his car.. then arrangements are even more complicated. Actually i dun mind spending more time with him yet i take public transport myself to sch.. am i crazy? haha... I think so.. maybe in weeks to come i'll be to tired and start to choose to stay in hall and meet him on weekends instead.
Anyway, I was super attitude la juz now.. I hate the feeling of anticipating abt meeting him and in the end had to accept that he can't meet me.. Very sad one leh.. So I decided to meet him on thurs. The confirmed day.. and anyother days if he can meet me den I'll meet him. Shall assume that he can't meet me most of the days to prevent myself from being hurt.. I dunno y i like dat. I dun wanna sound like i'm a sticky gf.. Coz i dun wanna be one. I can't stand seeing or approving a superglue to a partner.. I hope jason dun feel it this way.. if not i'm going to step back... Maybe i've put too much effort into this relationship.. Think I'll ask him one day to find out what he thinks and i can adjust accordingly. Scared later he take me more granted too.. know his darling will wanna meet him no matter rain or shine.. No matter what it is.. all these are caused by the power of love.. although i'm tired, sleepy, busy, I still dun mind meeting him.. as long as he wanna meet me. keke.

2007-10-21T21:54:00.001+08:00

well.. i'm home. pretty early for a sunday huh.. but i have a lot of things to do actually.. Just that I haven got started. Darling had to go back to his camp to unpack his stuff. Haiz.. dunno y i feel a little disappointed and feel that I'd miss him.. think I'm too used to having him ard again. haha. And when i reached home, my bro was sleeping! I feel lonely.. keke.. where's the independent rachel ong? Get back to your independant self gal! must adapt to all these quickly.. challenging but gd for me.. haha
And now i feel sleepy.. study or sleep? keke. sleep

2007-10-21T11:21:00.000+08:00

I feel so glad these days. Although me and jason argued a few times. I think It brought us one big step closer to each other this time. I really appreciate the fact that he din stop me from doing things that I love to do. I'm going for work and travel USA!! so cool.. without his support, i wouldn't even think i can bring myself to go wholeheartedly. I'll definitely miss him.. haiz.. All these support and understanding from him really makes me love him even more.. i was abt to tell him i'm willing to sacriface for him abt dancing by not going clubbing when he told me that he's not going to stop me anymore. He said that he has read the blog i've witten that changed his mind.. I was quite surprised. However, I was not really overjoyed by his decision.. coz it's not like I can't live without clubbing.. The thing that really makes me feel touched and happy is that I know he changed his mind becoz he loves me.. correct me if i'm wrong ok.. haha. Although he's so good to me.. I must not take advantage of it in anyway.. I feel so lucky.. So in love once again..

2007-10-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

glad that darling is back. At least when i'm down, there's someone to share with me. Yesterday, we nearly had a squabble abt his gal friends who invited her to go club and another gal whom he liked before who asked him to teach her driving. I felt super uneasy, I juz couldn't control it. But later I got over it. At least, I'm glad he was honest with me. I supposed to trust him man! how can i think that he feel restricted coz of me? He loves me. He would be willing to do things to prevent us from any misunderstanding.
Guess it's juz me.. like wat i say.. i had a very strong bad feeling that something is going to happen between us.. a hunch. maybe i'm just over sensitive. Anyway, I enjoyed learning soccer from him yesterday!! haha. so fun.
going tuition soon. later i'm going to attend his graduation ceremony. So proud of him. Love him.. my ranger..

2007-10-14T18:04:00.000+08:00

well.. darling is back. So glad to see him. Love him as much. But things seems different. Am I oversensitive well i dunno.. But I'm stressed. I got tons of things to think abt.. He's still into soccer afterall.. when I'm not allowed to dance. Am I going to compromise about clubbing again like my previous relationship? If i'm going to be restricted again, the history is going to be repeated I can forsee. I dun wanna be back to my old rebelious gal again. I can't promise him. It's not that he's not important. He is important, but i'm stuck between my interest and him. I hate this feeling. Why must i always have to suffer like that?!

In the past I used to club with him. I used to think that we have this common interest. But guess i'm wrong. He told me his reason and I thought was very sensible. His reason was valid. He's not wrong. But i'm sure i'm not wrong either. Coz my reason was juz purely dancing. He told me he dun wanna do the wrong thing. So.. which means.. next time, if he wants to go to this kind of places.. I'm going to be super duper wary. I'm going to expect him being unfaithful etc.. Guess guys can't control themselves. My purpose of going club with him is because I wan him to feel secure. I tot he'll feel better rather than Me going alone. but I think i'm making things worse.

So the conclusion is go or dun go forever kind of thing. Haiz. I'm destined to make this kind of decision all the time. I think I can dun go because of him. But another part of me feels that if he really loves me, y can't he let me go. It's not as though i wanna always go. I only go once in a blue moon, I really feel it's not a unreasonable request. Am I unreasonable? I feel so sad.. he nv think of my feelings.. he said sorry last night when he was drunk. He said he's afraid of losing me. I dun wanna lose him to. I love him! I got a very bad feeling abt us when he was abt to come back. Dunno it's for real. it's going to be a great test for both of us. Either we'll make it or break it.. I'm prepared. For the anything.. I've been through the worse.. immune to hurt already i guess..
But no matter what.. i'm giving my best. That's all i know..

2007-10-12T11:01:00.000+08:00

Meeting up with my family really cheered me up. I brought my mum and bro to TPY for dinner. Also it was juz a simple dinner at a food court, I felt very warm hearted. Everyone seemed to be so impatient with me. For example when i park the car, taking sauce for food. Haiz.. pple are so impatient. I went home and watched All these was yesterday.
This morning, Jason called again. Finally he's coming back! I have lesson until abt 5pm. hope to see him soon! yippe. Although I still feel affected by that day's conversation, I still love him.. Hope he feels the same way..

2007-10-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

This is the 1st time feeling so sian after talking to him. I know it's my fault that I've gone clubbing. However, I felt that he did not realised the days when I had to reject severals invitations. If I wan, I could hav gone many times rather than just once.
He kept on repeating about the bad times he had been through in his previous relationship. However, he din realise that everytime he said it, it makes me feel that I am not difference from his ex gf. I thought if his mum doubts me it wun be a big prob coz as long as darling trust me I'm happy. But I realised that's not the case now. Why can't he just say "No worries. I trust you darling." If he's not going to look forward towards our relationship but backwards and sees me as another gal similar to her ex.. I feel like giving up already. I can't imagine in years to come when he's going to say the same thing again and again. We hav been together for 7 months already!! I can't take it.
If I wan, I can also say that what is happening to me now is the same as what has happened during my previous relationship. When he doesn't wan to trust me, doesn't not appreciate my efforts. I also dun wan the same old cycle to happen again. I had enough of it the last 3 yrs.. thinking of it makes me wanna cry again.. sianz!
Lynn juz msg me that she's not going jogging already. Haiz.. I'm so sian with my life suddenly. So unhappy.. Life like I say.. meaningless sometimes. Jason and I talked on the phone just now. Acting as though nothing happened. I hate that! the prob will always remains.. nv go away..

2007-10-07T02:33:00.000+08:00

I wonder how's darling. Hope he's fine. I'm thinking of him every minute..
I met my friend Catherine from zhongua today. We had a great time taking lots of photos from suntec to fullerton and to boat quay. I was chatting with her at a cafe with darling's mummy called me. I din hear the call as my hp's tone was quite soft. Therefore, when I returned call, she ask me if Jason called. I told her no. She asked jojo to ask where I was and if I was DATING! I'm not sure if i was oversensitive. But she doesn't sound like she was joking. Haiz.. Guess darling's mummy doesn't trust me. Feeling a little hurt. But the most importantly, I'm sure darling trusts me. So that comforts me alittle. I prayed for him again.. I hope he's doing fine..loving him.. dreamt of him so many times..

2007-10-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

suddenly.. i feel as though i dun have the mood to do anything anymore. Darling just called me. He sounded different. He was in the hospital! He was having a fever. I'm so worried. Having fever and on drip seems quite serious man.. I hope he'll get well soon to complete his training.. just a few more days to go.. He has to complete his coz this time if not it would be too demoralising on his part.. I pray for him.. Love him always.. always in my heart.

2007-10-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

hi there,
today.. I went to ikea with lynn and she saw what happened at the queue towards getting our food at the cafe. There was this woman who was telling the staff off about having to repeat thrice before her order was understood. The staff just kept quiet and continued their job. I feel so sad for them. If I was just beside that woman, I think I would tell the lady off. This kind of character could be found in many people nowadays. Repeating your order will not hurt you in anyway rite? Y can't people be more tolerate? My assumption is that this woman must have enjoyed her life being a customer and nv experience working as a waiteress or in any type of service line before. At least she should try to put herself into their shoes! Maybe I could understand coz I've worked as a waitress before. I think it is very important to experience and understand the work and life of others in order to be more tolerate. I really hope my kids or even students will not grow up to be like her.
On the other hand, I feel that is the staff were in anyway, rude or unpleasant, it would be reasonable to complain because they are in the service line. However, it little things such as repeating orders could be tolerated. They were so helpless as they couldn't defend themselves. Haiz.

Next, I feel really sad about what is happening in Myammar. Why is the world getting more and more chaotic each day? Y would people have the heart to sacriface and hurt humans? Where's the humanity? I really hope the Gen will at least think about his people rather than his own needs.

I gtg now.. study time.. bye..

2007-10-02T22:23:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy!~ careen replied! She mentioned abt keeping in touch and friendship forever! GUess we have all grown up and it's time to put all our grudges behind us.. I'm so tired. Going to sleep soon. Good nitey. Shall read my ss books to sleep!

2007-10-02T09:57:00.000+08:00

darling called me last night. He sounded happier. I feel for relieved too. He's coming back next friday! I've started watching Heroes. Quite a ok show for me for the 1st episode so far. Anyway, I'm going to work hard today. Wanna do my social studies project already..
btw, I dreamt of Careen. She seemed to be crying and asked me the reason of her having so few friends around her. Well, this could be a dream only. But I was kind of affected. I hope she's fine. I decided to message her in friendster. Whether a not she wanna reply is up to her. At least i'm doing my part as a friend if she still treats me as one. shall go for lesson now.. goodie bye...

2007-10-01T01:04:00.000+08:00

so sleepy.. no mood to study leh..
Just now darling called! so happy to hear his voice.But he doesn't sound very happy. I feel so worried for him. I guess he doesn't wan to be frank with me coz he dun wan me to be worried for him. Haiz. This would onli make me worry more den ever. I told him to stay strong for another 2 weeks and everything would be better. I miss him. Cant wait for him to be back. Love him deep.

2007-09-30T04:01:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy!! The camp was so fun! although it was tiring, my feet with blisters, sandfly bites and days without bathing.. it was fulfilling. I got to understand myself better. I know ways to go beyond my limits. I am no longer afraid of kayaking or the sea. Heights may not be a hinder too. The 3 p - people, process and product is something which i have to decide to prioritize on when i lead or go out to teach in future.
I got in touch with webb. It's been a long time since i've tok to him. He was the same batch as huizhen. It's great keeping in touch with pple u have lost touch with.
2 weeks more be4 darling is back.. I miss so much..so much till when i saw the full moon on moon cake festival during my camp.. i wonder if he's also looking at it..
GTG n sleep now.. my muscles are aching like hell.. can't stand it anymore..

2007-09-25T01:47:00.000+08:00

so long nv blog again..also dunno y.. there's always ups and down in a relationship.. there will be a few points in time when u will lose confidence in the relationship.. Now i'm just a little doubtful here and there. wondering will my relationship with jason last.. I need the assurance now.. but he's away.. Telling me will not work too. So the problem lies with me.. not him.
This morning.. he called at the right time when i'm feeling this way. I was still sleeping when i heard my phone rang. I told him I missed him and he told me he missed me so much!! I wish for a pat on my head and a big hug now..
I went to visit my primary school today.. It was really a good visit. I met my ex form teacher Mdm Ho and a Chinese teacher who used to dote on me. Luckily they could still remember me!! My brother went with me and we had a great time talking to them.
I'm going OBS tml.. haiz.. tot days would pass very quickly so i can distract myself from missing darling too much. But i didn't know the dates fall on the day with my bro would be going for his knee operation. I feel a little sorry. However, he asked me to carry on with my plan. Guess when I'm back.. I'd wanna spend more time with him. Actually i'm not really excited abt the camp.. No matter wat.. Darling will still always be in my heart...

2007-09-22T09:15:00.000+08:00

yoz.. long time nv blog already.. had been bz and tired. But of coz not as tired as darling.. 2 days ago.. there were invitation to go club again.. I din go.. coz i dun feel like going and it's for honey once again.. keke.. think i hav been spending too much money on food.. better behave manz..
I didn;t attend dance this week coz of my stupid proj.. arrggg.. i'll be going for obs camp soon.. so exciting.. hope i still can take all the challenges keke.. i dun hav a choice liao anyway.. haha
wondering how is darling coming along. 1 week has passed. 3 more weeks to go. missed him as much. love him as much. Hope he feels the same way too..

2007-09-18T06:47:00.000+08:00

i slept at 11plus last night.. i was really tired. Went to school straight from chalet. This was what i recorded in my words doc as i was waiting for lynn to pass me the network cable.
"Hiya.. I feel so relieved now! I talked to darling just now. He called! He wasn’t angry with me thank goodness. Really hope he trusts me. But I’m very worried. He says that he fell and his back and knee hurts. How I hope I can be there with him now.. I hope he’ll stay strong. Love and miss him so much! "

When I woke up at 6.15am just now. I heard my hp rang. It was darling! He called at the right time. He told me that someone was caught using the phone and all phones are going to be confiscated. haiz. not being able to hear his voice for a month would be dreadful.. i gtg now. going to work on my project..

2007-09-16T09:43:00.001+08:00

i went to su min's birthday party at a ktv pub yesterday.. Played pool, listen to the pple sing etc.. I chose to drive coz I decided not to drink too much.
I got to confess something.. I felt pretty bored and thought of going clubbing again.. I really miss dancing.. really! this time it's not about getting to know guys, wanting to drink... i just wanna dance freely.. I really tried joining all the clubs.. but they don't give me the same enjoyment as what cubbing do.. haiz.. Everything is so restricted. the movements, the steps, everyone has to dance the same way. But when u club, everything comes from you.
I asked peiying is she wanna go. So we went MOS. I took a super long time to consider my decision. haiz... The only person stopping me is of coz darling. 1) I'm there to dance.. nothing else. 2) the main purpose why darling din wan me to go there is coz he's afriad i might be taken advantage of.. which i knew that would not happen. Coz I didn't drink! Although guys approached. But I rejected and moved away. I was very persistent in rejecting them. I swear.. I realised that after going, part of me felt happy. Another part of me felt so bad.. I dunno if darling can trust me.. I din do anything wrong for sure.. nothing unfaithful.. haiz.. overall.. I din really enjoy to the fullest. Not without darling's presence. How i hope he's with me.. as i promised, I dun wanna lie.. I'd rather he be angry with me than to lie and he finds out in the end. I love him.. if he loves me, he'd trust me.. I'm not as playful as the past anymore.. coz i've got him..and i'm waiting for him to be back. love him!

2007-09-14T00:29:00.000+08:00

DARLING's back at last!! He's going thailand at 3pm and having lesson!! so shitty right! anyway, I went to fetch him, went beach road, walked for a super long time before finding the market where he had to buy his baggy.. guess what? I saw a frd.. he's jimmy, who took my photograph while i was helping my frd to do the photo shoot. what a coincident right? keke.. k la.. will update more when he's away.. gtg..byez..

2007-09-12T00:41:00.000+08:00

for 11/9/07..
Today for basketball, my teacher asked me to demonstrate lay-up for the class! Yippie.. So fun.. But during game, i felt i wasn't really serious or i din apply all the faking that I've been practicing so far.. We learnt lay-ups and ways to gain points.. eg.. to move into space towards the basketball direction.

Oh ya.. i woke up early morning to play tennis with lynn.. jen yang came after that to join us.. for less than 5 mins.. haha. It was fun too!

After bball lesson, had my proj meeting, i went for tuition.. after i came back to hall.. ate cup noodles! at last i got to eat cup noodles again.. I went for hall dance after that.. The way they teach is less clear.. but not bad also la.. coz we get to have exposure and perform.. cool.. Can help me improve my memory by remembering the steps.. gtg not.. tml got presentation! good luck to myself.. I'll go home tml to stand by for darling to come back.
BYEZ!

2007-09-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

It was raining this morning and we played soccer in the mud. It was quite fun actually. Haha. I just realised that my classmate happened to be my brother's sis's sis! so coincident! Anyway, my wish came true, darling called me! 3 times today.. he might be coming back either on wed or thurs. Friday he'll be leaving for thailand..

I went for dance in the evening. So fun.. They were doing hip hop. Haiz.. the thing about this kind of class is that you don't get to do free style. Clubbing at least you do. well.. I told darling about my temptation last weekend.. he asked me to go ahead. The more he ask me to go the more i dun feel like going already haha.

I was telling lynn over dinner about being anxious after jason is back. I'm afraid he might feel that i have no time for him. Or not used to our different lives now. Will it be better than before or worse? I'm afraid he might be too free to get to know new gals and forget about me. Keke. Well if that's the case, too bad lor... This would be a test for both of us. Of coz I'll still try to manage my time and balance between darling, schwork and family.

I'm going to work hard for school coz i want a higher pay and better prospect. I wonder if darling minds about my education level.. Or is he really going to upgrade himself. I'm just worried for our future. I know he has the capability to climb high in his career, but no matter wat, being in singapore and in the realistic world, we know that education plays a very important role. I hope that darling would really consider. I dun wanna nag at him.. Scared he mistaken about me despise him of his education status or something. I just told lynn that i really dunc his education level as a problem for us. I look at character more than anything else. I love the way he is.. But it's just for our future i guess.. Let's be realistic. Who doesn't want security and good life in future? Haha.

Counting down.. let's say he's coming on thursday..3 days from now..

2007-09-09T00:25:00.000+08:00

today.. my temptation to go club was really really high!! luckily, i was able to overcome it.. I know i have things to do. But i'm just bored! i wanna dance freely! I tot of going club but not drinking. But I rem giving my word to honey that i wun go unnecessarily. I went for breakfast with my bro.. stayed at home playing music, went out with my parents to chinatown for dinner. The Lor Moi was delicious.. Found it at last! We spend quite sometime at this station where there's one old man who was chanting and saying that he'd want to provide 4 digit numbers for certain people.. he was telling us how accurate his god was. The way i saw how he hits the statue made me stared at disbelief. He 's not respecting the god wat.. haiz.. He was then showing the power of his tailsman. He claimed that he's going to give them out for free.. but after that, he took out this product, wanting us to buy! many tables were also set up to pull people to the tables for fortune telling.. I really think this could be fake.. hopefully he are really helping the society and not cheating them.
There's something which I remembered which happened yesterday. When I was with my granny at the hospital, there was this couple which I shared the table with during my lunch. They were at least 80 years old i supposed. However, they were still so loving! The old man was teasing the old woman about him eating a piece of dish and his wife eating another at a time. He knew my presence and did it intentionally! Most probably, the old woman was the patient and he said that he came to the hospital because the food there is good and not because he wanted to come and visit his wife. haha.. So funny! I envied them man. I hope me love life will be as everlasting as them.. If not, I'll rather be single. Y make yourself so miserable when you can choose to led a happier life? I miss Jason soooo much.. What is he doing now? How is he? I don't know... Hope to hear from him soon.. Hope he's feeling strong..

2007-09-06T09:37:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since i'm blogged. It's caused by the stupid mio installation. So much problem that i still had to go to macdonald's to serve the free internet access!
I celebrated jojo's birthday yesterday.. as well as jeremy's arrival. I talked to him quite a lot yesterday. Seems like a nice guy. I gave him my num. Told him that I treat siblings very well, like that jason. haha.. so any problem can always call me.
I went to fetch jojo from school. Before that, Jason called! missed his voice.. he said he wanted to wish her happy birthday.. I passedthe message to her after that.. Brought her home, taught her maths and brought her to watch ratatuille! Average show i can say.. jojo got distracted after an hour or so.. but i made her stay.. before and after, we went arcade. She wanted to play many games and when the card that i topped up for her has finished, she asked me to go top up more. I felt that she should not be like that. Therefore, I talked to her after that. I told her that she should learn to be more considerate and don't do things for the sake of herself without thinking for others. She knows that there are many people who are very nice to her, but she should not take things for granted. I hope darling would not mind me teaching her all these skills ya.. I love her as much as he do and I want jojo to grow up with a big heart.. :)
Dunno y.. I'm feeling so stress! I seem to have so many things to do! I better pull my socks and do something about it. Think I'm too slack this week. Btw, the music school called me! The principal asked me to take night classes on weekdays. I think if i'm single, I would have taken all days. But I decided to take monday and thursday instead. On monday, after teaching music, I can still accompany darling. Tuesday, I might be joining a hall dance team after tuition. Wednesday, I'm free. Thursday, after tuition, I can go straight to teach music. Friday.. free for any plans. Weekends.. not touched yet.. My ex frisbee teammates are asking me if i wanna join sing open.. I'm considering man.. hmm.. It's so overwhelming! So many things to consider. Haiz.
I still have bball elearning stuf to do, SS story writing, critical perspective individual and group assignment, m and e elearning. so many things! I must finish at least the basketball one today! gtg now.. byez

2007-08-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

Hey..
I woke up at about 7 plus and headed to the gym with lynn. My initial plan was to do weights and den play table tennis. HOwever, Eric and Ruoying called me and asked me to go jogging around NTU and I did! it was about 5 click i guess. Hmm.. sprinted at the end coz of the stupid rain. Then we continued with our table tennis. It was very fun!
We went for soccer when JiaYi taught was how to do volley. Learning in a small group really helps a lot. Feedback was given immediately. I enjoyed the session. For M and E, we still continued with solving mean, mode and median. Standard deviation was also introduced.
We went for lunch after that. I was super hungry. Den we headed to get our SS books, and submitted my OBS form! hooray! going for camp again!
Next we were on our way back to hall when I had to rush for tution. I headed to hougang point to pass the thumbdrive back to my ex student. Load off me now! When I was about to reach my house, after turning, I need to reverse and park into my hse's lot. THen there's this taxi driver who din bother to wait and forced me to drive forward. My unit after my neighbour gave me a dirty look as though i did something wrong. They were so inconsiderate to park the cars along phillips ave near to my house and still dare to give me that look! Most prob they din know i wanted to drive back to my hse. Anyway.. I was just frustrated that y do pple have to be so impatient and have to show pple unhappy faces in order to make themselves feel better? HAiz... I hope my students in future will not grow up to be like that..
I ended up eating instant noodles.. no one was at home to eat with me.. watched tv and slacked. Darling called me. Reminded me that he misses me. I rememebered eric mentioning to me about his frd who was also from commando, married and his wife betrayed him coz she always go club and was with his colleague who was also getting married. This guy claimed that the gal was the one who seduced him and he felt it was ok. Eric couldn't stand it and walked away. He said that there were so many this kind of cases.. No wonder darling din like me to club. But I hope if i can give him this kind of security, he would give me the same kind of security.. I cannot stand betrayal.. If wat is expected of me is not applicable to him, den I feel that it's not fair and no point following it.. well.. most importantly, i trust he will not do that.. :)

2007-08-29T23:13:00.000+08:00

today.. i find it a dread to wake up for the 8.30 lesson.. but i was early.. lynn told me she dreamt of me getting A for my critical perspective assignment.. And guess what? I really did! Hooray.. A good start for me.. I went gym to di my triceps. Den we headed for M and E lesson. They were discussing about the pros and cons of using different kinds of graphic representions to show statistics..
I went to play tennis with lynn after that. LOng time since I played.. the kick is back!
Then we went to the clinic for my check up for outward bound. I had an injection.. Painful.. but worth the cost. keke.
Next we returned back to hall, bathed and took a nap. I woke up and changed into my dance attire and went for dance.. they taught hip hop today and i enjoyed the session very much. After that I waited for lynn and we went to boon lay market for dinner and now i'm here! Going to bathe now.. tataz.

2007-08-28T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today.. I went back to zhonghua primary school to sign out. The school had called me, send me a letter to ask me to go back and sign out. On the last day of my sch, I 've forgotten to sign out. keke. Too excited to leave. Haha. When I was on my way home, I saw my P3 students! They called for me.. I really missed them.. haiz..
THere was a heavy rain when i reached NIE. I was drenched despite i drove. Irritating. I had basketball lesson and den discussion on critical perspective. The tutor din really guide us.. but we knew we were on the right track so we are going ahead with our plans.
I went for tuition. I asked grace if her granny always ask her to drink or eat whenever she comes down from the stairs. She said not really.. It tiggered me to ask her because I saw her granny coming down the stairs. I went on with my lesson. Who knows.. her granny came and offered her milk! haha.. both of us laughed.
I returned to hall after that.. I wanted to jog.. but the rain was huge. so i decided to forget about it. I checked my mails and vanessa came back asking me to send her to nie. I went to jurong point to meet lynn and went shopping at NTUC!! spent abt 40 bucks! Haiz.. gtg now.. btw.. darling called just now.. says he will be away at outfield for a few days and wun be back.. 20 more mins to his birthday.. "Happy Birthday to him" :) tataz.

2007-08-27T21:28:00.000+08:00

Well.. today.. i woke up several times to check my phone to see if jason called me. Billy called me after that saying jason called him and mentioned that he'll be out either at 11 or 12pm. I decided to go see the doc 1st then head over to fetch his mum and den go over.. I went there twice.. 1st i reached there at 10 plus.. den jason asked me to go back and get his phone and wallet and return back when he called. We headed to beach road to buy his neccessities after that and had lunch. It felt good to be the passenger again. haha.

We went to compass point to look for a waterproof pouch but to no avail and headed to fetch jojo from sch. Went back to his home to let him rest.. It felt good to be cuddling with him again, holding hands together etc..

Later, we headed to houngang mall for a walk.. ate kfc and ice-cream.. think i better watch my diet haha. By 8pm he has to leave house.. we returned home for dinner, he cut his hair and bathed. Then I prepared the birthday cake for him. All of us sang song for him. Wondered what wish he made.. hope it would come true.. Now.. I just came back from his camp.. he's back there. My heart had sunken again.. though I din wanna make it too obvious.. Miss him again.. shall wait for his return on 14 or 15 of september 2007.. now.. i got to get back to my work already..