Well.. I just came back from a movie with Jason and my bro. We watched "My wife is a gangster 3." I had to attend my sch's anniversary celebration just now. Keilin invited me to join the rest of the collegeues as they were going somewhere else to chill out after the function. However, I already promised Jason to watch the movie he liked yesterday.. so i reject them and went on with our plan.
I made a huge mistake today which I'm sincerely regretful. That is to tell my bro abt something which Jason asked me not to tell. Coz i assumed he was telling me in a jokingly manner and i felt that he would be comfortable coz it's my bro anyway. However I was wrong! He was serious about me keeping the secret and I know that he felt betrayed.. But it wasn't intentional! I know I was at fault and apologised several times. He repeatedly said he's fine and alright.. But on the other hand, his actions and words showed otherwise. From 10 pm all the way until now 3 plus.. he hasn't forgiven me?
Every night, when he reaches home.. he'll msg me to acknowledge me he's home and his msges usually consist of words such as dear, love and all the sweetie stuff.. today, there's none. I asked if he's angry and he said that he's tired. True? I really dunno. I am still on the verge of recovery from my illness and still feel tired. But i dun react this way! Is it a good excuse that when a person is tired, all sweetness that a person could offer in the past is gone for good?
Let's assume if he's still angry with me.. it shows that our love for each other is no longer strong enough to forgive each other. I've tried to put myself in his shoes. I dunno y.. but i wouldn't have the heart to be angry with him unless he's unfaithful or treats me unfairly. Perhaps he's really tired? have he realised that I was also tired? But I want to watch the show becoz he wants to watch it?

I juz wanna make it clear that I always appreciate what he has done for me. He came to my sch to fetch me when i told him i'll be done by 10pm.. I was sick the past few days.. he came and accompanied me.. These sweet things makes a lot of differences.. It keeps me reminded that Jason still cares abt me..

Although he tells me this is still our honeymoon period.. but incidents like this proved otherwise. We have quarrelled last week.. is this going to be a weekly thingie or worse? My phobia of quarrels and unhappiness are coming back.. I'm losing my faith for love once again.. love hurts.. Y do I always have to go through the same thing over and over again? What is love? I seemed lost again.. at the end.. he msg me good night love.. wat's the point after my heart was already broken into pieces again and again.. miss those times when we just got together.. how gentle he was when talking to me.. puts in the effort to forgive me.. with that power of strong love which is disappearing soon.. sad..