So many things have happened and yet I was not kept in the loop. God is with me. I finally confirmed and made up my decision. I have to thank all the people around me who kept me in the loop. Without them, I'll be stuck forever.. My heart has hardened and I'm ready.. I hope the other party is ready too.. It's going to be painful but a good lesson for all.. Finally my mind is clear...

Suddenly.. I feel that many hints are sent to me for a purpose. Negative thoughts are flowing through my mind.. But my heart tells me another story. What should I do? Should I follow my heart or face the practical truth that may affect the rest of my life? When I have sorted out something and wanna start afresh, another new ugly truth arises. How am I going to move on? I'm so scared of being hurt.. Should I throw myself in the ocean when I know there are sharks around? Or should I look forward to the treasures and beauty of the loving creatures and nature of the underwater world?? Or should I just choose to stay off the ocean and move towards land??