I have problems with my boyfriend now. I feel that we are starting to drift apart. When I told him, he seems ignorant about it. When I further persist on it, he sounded irritated and said that he has to work tomorrow and do not wish to talk about it. If not today then when? Will there ever a good time to talk about our problems? He said he does not feel that there’s anything wrong about us. Of course he doesn’t feel anything because I have not changed anything towards him. However, I felt he has changed on the way he treats me. He seems to take me for granted. Besides that, I feel that he has not been trying hard to be in good terms with my family members. I’m very disappointed with him on this aspect actually. It’s my brother’s birthday and he didn’t even bother to wish him happy birthday. He told me he’ll try to be expressive to me. However, he’s not doing so again. I don’t mind not meeting each other as often, but if he don’t do anything to make my heart melts or make me feel that he stills loves me, he’ll soon lose me. I don’t feel important to him anymore. I’m beginning to doubt my future with him. How can I survive with someone who can’t express himself to me. Since he’s does not bother about our relationship, I don’t have the heart to continue this relationship too. I told him that I needed time out and when he feels that he’s ready to commit, he will then let me know. I really hope he is not cheating me or something. If he lets me catch him doing something unfaithful, I’ll never forgive me. At the meantime, I shall study hard for my exams and not bother about him anymore. It’s just not worth it when the other party does not even bother to care.

Bintan trip was so fun!! I stayed at Nirwana Resort. The place was beautiful. My brother and I supposed to go snorkeling in the afternoon. However the trip was not successful as it was raining heavily when we reached the location where we could snorkel. We asked the driver to ride the boat back to Bintan Island. And guess what? We got lost! The driver only knows how to get back to the island by looking at the landmarks around the sea. But the rain at that time was pouring too heavily and no landmarks could be found at all! It seems to me that we are in the middle of the sea out of nowhere. The driver called his colleagues for rescue and finally, they came by a jet ski. It was very cold and the raindrops were hitting painfully on our skins. A Singaporean couple and a family of 3 from Swiss land were also in the boat. We covered ourselves with black trash bags to keep ourselves warm. All of us managed to return safely and money was also refunded. The driver who brought us out apologized to us repeatedly and I could really feel his sincerely. He was not trained to read the bearings I guess. But this was really an experience for me being stucked in the sea.

We also visited a Malay village in the afternoon by a taxi. I really got to see how a real village town looks like. The people there ride motorcycles with mothers carrying their babies in their arms and the fathers in front riding their bikes. All of them look so carefree. I really envy them. They don’t seem to have such stressful lives living there. We also went to Pasar Ole Ole which was another shopping outlet. However the things there are catered especially for the tourists. Therefore, the prices for the products there are not cheap.

At night, we went to the KTV lounge to celebrate my brother’s birthday. There was a surprise cake given by the resort to him. We brought the cake to the KTV lounge and ate it there. The songs available were all very old but I enjoyed singing all the oldies. There was a group of Singaporeans sitting next to us. A family of 4 Caucasians sat on the other side of us. We were all very supportive as we applauded for each other after each song was being sung. The parents of the Caucasian went up to dance when their children were singing. They were so supportive! It really warms my heart..

The next day, we went for an early breakfast and got ready for wakeboarding at Marna Marna!! My brother and I were pretty excited as this was our 1st time doing it. The instructor seemed very experienced and told us what to do very soon, both of us were able to balance on the water. It was really fun! I drank a lot of seawater during the early stages though which I think is worth it as long as I was able to succeed wakeboarding. My brother was able to board a pretty long time too. My parents were on the boat too. They were there to give us encouragement. Lucky the weather was great that day. This activity somehow compensates the snorkeling session the day before.

Next we went to Jacuzzi at our resort. My mum relaxes there while my father, brother and I played monkey. We even went to the pool bar for a drink. We went back to our rooms and checked out at lunchtime. We went to a restaurant for lunch. The prices for the meals are not as cheap as I thought it could be. However, we had no choice or else there’s nothing least we could eat. When we got back to the resort, I played table tennis and chess with my brother. Lost both to him. So malu huh.. hehe Overall, I really enjoyed the trip very much. This is also a good gathering session for my family as well as a relaxation for me before I get back to my books as my exams are coming.

Today, Emily came to my house to study. We studied anatomy. Now I know what are the parts of the muscles. I also able to understand how muscles contract.This is so cool. I know what's a synaptic terminal, acetylcholine, acetylcholineseterase, the synaptic clef, sarcolemma end plates where all the receptors for ACh are. Action potential which travels all the way down to transverse tubules to produce calcium ions. Troponins will allow tropomysin to expose the active sites if the actin filament. The myosin heads will den bind with the active sites and pull the actin filament towards the center of sarcommere therefore causing muscles to contract. At the same time the acetylcholineseterase removes the acetylecholine from the synaptic clef. Hee.. just doing some revision here.

I'm going Bintan tml!! Hope it'll be fun. I went to my bf's house for BBQ. His mum was the one who invited me, not him. I couldn't bring myself not to talk to him at all. I had flu for the whole day. After dinner, both of us went to TPY for a walk. I know he needed a hp but just don't want to waste money. I have decided to buy one for him. But he couldn't decide which model he likes so that really gives me a headache on which to buy. I feel that both of us are drifting apart. I would really hope to make our relationship a better one. But if I were to talk about it, we'll surely quarrel again. So y risk toking about it rite? Besides, he dun seems to care or sense it too. He's just too busy with his sch work and job. I shall end here and update you with the details of the trip soon..

I can’t wait to share my interesting day with you. Let’s talk about my boo hoos stuffy 1st. As usual, I had a tiff with my boyfriend again. I was angry with him for not picking up my calls as I was trying to settle some arguments with him. I refused to message or call him today at all.

In the morning, Haresh offered to give Emily and me a ride to school. We ended being “malu” as we were late. We were all well dressed for the trip to Sentosa. After school, we were contemplating whether to take a cab or a train. Finally, we decided to save money and travel by train. The chicken rice that Emily recommended was delicious as I was super duper hungry just now.

When we were at Sentosa, the weather was extremely hot. I took the brochures and scan through to see if there was any interesting shows I could watch. Coincidentally, there was an animal show at Siloso Beach which was where we were supposed to alight. The monkeys have this red swollen thingie on their buttocks. Very special indeed. I saw a horn bill and a yellow snake which reminds me of my boyfriend as he will certainly freak out when he sees it.

I played the guitar and sang with the rest. When I really couldn’t stand the heat any longer, I went to have a dip in the water. We played Frisbee, soccer and volleyball. I think I’m going to have a sun burn as my skin is very red now.

Emily and I left 1st. On our way back, we saw 2 ladies wearing skimpy bikini tops and shorts walking around in the bus. I think they are from China from their strong accent. There were 2 young boys who are Caucasians who kept on looking at the women’s outfits. I got no idea what they were thinking. But after they alighted from the bus, the ladies requested to take photographs with the boys with their parents’ approval. I just have the feeling that maybe this is the 1st time the ladies sees the westerners. Therefore, they would wanna take the opportunity to take a photograph with them for remembrance. I feel that the tradition of conservatism within Chinese is going to disappear soon. We are all getting more and more open minded nowadays.

The next thing that I wanna share is that I happened to realize that I’ve lost my necklace. I expected to touch it when I placed my fingers on my neck but it wasn’t there! This necklace was given by my boyfriend during our anniversary. I cursed and swear that I must recall how I lost it. I remembered that I took it off during my shoot last Sunday when I supposed to help Josephine by being her model to display her apparels that she had designed. I thought that I had place the necklace into my makeup pouch. Therefore, once I reached home just now, I rushed to my room and searched for it. I realized that there are holes in the pouched! Could the necklace slipped out of the pouch when I did my makeup? I had been moving from places to places during the shoot and it’s impossible for me to track where I took out my pouch for touch up. I knew the only thing I could do now is to either buy a replacement or break the news to my boyfriend. I decided to buy a replacement as I don’t wanna expect another quarrel when him anymore. I broke this news to my mum and brother, hoping they can help me solve this puzzle. N guess what? When I checked the bag where I placed the makeup pouch the 2nd time, I realized the necklace was stucked at the corner! What a relief! Immediately, I went to my 4 faced Buddha and thanked him for allowing me to find my necklace.

I begin to study after that. I took breaks by practicing my piano. Suddenly, my doorbell rang. I saw an unfamiliar figure at the gate and felt something was not right. I asked the stranger what he wants. He looked pretty mature for his age and asked me to help him. He seemed to be crying and claimed that he has lost his wallet and needs money to go home. I began to ask why he was here in the first place. He told me he wanted to visit his friend who has just shifted here and the address was actually written in his wallet. I was pretty suspicious in the 1st place because this guy sounded like a young kid yet looked mature for his age. I called my mum down to judge him. My mum was suspicious too but later, after asking so many questions he convinced us that he was telling the truth. His handphone has no battery already and wallet gone. He must be so desperate. Poor boy. I gave him $15 to go home. I hope it is enough for him. I asked him if our house is the 1st house he approached. He said that he went to many houses already and one of the owner even threatened to call the police. At that point of time, I really felt so sad for him. If he’s really telling the truth, it’s really sad to see him go through all these shit. I felt rather ashamed of myself too that I was so unwilling to help in the 1st place. I’m actually very disappointed with those owners who threatened this young man. All he needs is just $15 which I’m sure anyone can afford especially these people who are living in landed properties. Why can’t they just offer a helping hand?

Anyway, I did a follow up. I messaged him to check if he has reached his house. He told me reached his house already. He told me that he had lost his wallet from 1 plus in the afternoon and seek the police for help. However, the policeman told him to go search for it again but still in vain. He tried calling for taxis but the drivers refused to ride him once they knew he had no money. Then he travelled all the way to my area and started asking for help and that is how he came to my house.

Although the story may sound ridiculas, I hope he's really telling the truth and I'd spent the money purposefully. But I'm really disappointed on how pple would react to pple who really need help. I can't imagine if the same thing happens to me and nobody wants to help me. I'll feel so helpless. This incident gives me the determination to influence my students to be more kind and helpful citizens rather than pple who will threaten and leave someone who is in need just because they wanna protect themselves which is equivalent to selfishness. Let's have a kinder society please!!!

Hmm.. I've always wanted to create a blog and at last I've done it.. Guess this will be a great place for me to express my emotions and thoughts as I move on with my life. Friendship has always been very important to me. Love life affects me even more.. Family commitment is also another factor which I promised myself to work on this year.. Putting in more effort into my studies before I go out and teach my students.. So many dreams which I hope to accomplish before I grow old and reaches the end of my life. I wanna leave this beautiful place with no regrets..