Haiz.. so sian.. yesterday.. my soccer i din do well for practical. I really hope I can get an A for soccer.. though i know it's quite impossible. I had basketball individual assessment just now.. I really regret not practicing when i had the time in the past.. feel so shitty.. layups which i always take successfully were unsucessful juz now.. I feel damn sad lar.. I wan an A for basketball.. I joined bball in sec sch.. I tot having the background will help me with my grades and I'm determined to get it.. I'm going to study real hard for my the tests...
another thing.. I dunno y.. yesterday, i felt disappointed. Darling came and pick me up from sch and we had dinner together. Then he drove home and he had to leave with his frd for camp.. I tot i could spend more time with him! But his reasons were valid..no choice. He got to reach camp early, can't enter camp in wee hours.. I realised how selfish i was. Only think of being with him and nv consider abt the constraints.. I kept of thinking abt the past where he could spend time with me and go back camp early in the morning. Why can't he do it now..
Are there any differences? Is it because at that time, it was the beginning of our relationship so it supposed to be so sweet..
Anyway, I ought to be understanding too.. maybe things are more complicated now coz i had to attend sch in NTU now.. so far.. then he also tot of lending me his car.. then arrangements are even more complicated. Actually i dun mind spending more time with him yet i take public transport myself to sch.. am i crazy? haha... I think so.. maybe in weeks to come i'll be to tired and start to choose to stay in hall and meet him on weekends instead.
Anyway, I was super attitude la juz now.. I hate the feeling of anticipating abt meeting him and in the end had to accept that he can't meet me.. Very sad one leh.. So I decided to meet him on thurs. The confirmed day.. and anyother days if he can meet me den I'll meet him. Shall assume that he can't meet me most of the days to prevent myself from being hurt.. I dunno y i like dat. I dun wanna sound like i'm a sticky gf.. Coz i dun wanna be one. I can't stand seeing or approving a superglue to a partner.. I hope jason dun feel it this way.. if not i'm going to step back... Maybe i've put too much effort into this relationship.. Think I'll ask him one day to find out what he thinks and i can adjust accordingly. Scared later he take me more granted too.. know his darling will wanna meet him no matter rain or shine.. No matter what it is.. all these are caused by the power of love.. although i'm tired, sleepy, busy, I still dun mind meeting him.. as long as he wanna meet me. keke.