I really had a good time last SATURDAY!! It was a busy day. I went for manicure and ended up doing my hair and make up. Thanks to Zyma my make up artist. She's so nice.. However, I rushed like mad. Took a cab and asked the uncle to wait for me outside my house while i get my clothes for my performance.

During the rehersal for the PESS BASH, I sang Lynn part. Keke. Too excited le. I was always scared for dance la. Din really practice for this performance. The Best thing is, I made a mistake during the dancing in the moonlight. Luckily, I just kept smiling. haha. Hopefully no one knows except for my band members keke. FOr zombie, none of us made mistakes. Hooray! Dr Bala commented that we were the best band! I felt that the hard work that we did really paid off yesterday. A little disappointed because my band din get to finish another 2 songs.

My darling was in time for my dance. He was there for all my performance that day. I really felt loved and support by him. After bash, I just kept drinking. keke I wanna have fun! I dared to drink because I knew dear dear was there to protect me. I still rem him asking me about marriage. It was so sweet. But I'm not taking it as a formal proposal. haha. I know darling can do better than that. ;p

I went to look for my cousins and saw my sec sch friends around.. PLayed 7 ups witht the degree

yr 2s. It was so fun! Drank lambogini before i played and after losing a few more rounds i started feeling tipsy. keke.

I'm so happy and touched because honey was there throughout for me although he doesn't like to club anymore. I'm sure he doesn't enjoy as much as I do.. when i asked him, he said that when he sees me that happy, he's also happy! I love him! :)

Hiya.. today is one of the moodiest day of my life! Maybe it's because i'm having PMS. I felt hurt many times today. It seems like I'm easily offended. Feeling that i'm the worst person on Earth! However, I've got to see a clearer picture on many things and feel better now.
Anyway, Lynn and I would be singing together on Sat. I thought it was a good idea as i wouldn't feel so nervous with a partner around. After practising together, I felt that we could sing much better than when I'm singing alone. Will be looking forward to sing with her on Sat.
We won ICG netball today. When I just arrive, Jean passed me the center position. I felt quite disappointed when few of my friends seem to lose faith in me. Of coz i wun play better than Jean.. but at least dun show me the "huh.. y u dun play let rachel play center" that kind of look. At that time, we were already leading by 6 balls i think. After much tot, I think, everybody has different goals when playing game. Jean wants to do her duty as she was in charge of netball, the rest of us are playing all out to win. Maybe that's y they were afraid that losing her in the team for that game would be risky. But luckily i didn't really create any major mess. I got to catch a number of balls over to our attacking side.. I'm too emotional, too sensitive, i know.. easily affected by surroundings. but a normal person would feel the same if he/she were me right?
few hours ago, lynn and I were learning singing from van's sis! there's so many techniques to learn.. But it's interesting..
Just now i was so sad and darling was so sweet to listen to my worries and cheered me on. I felt so much better after talking to him. Though we can't meet up, I know he'll be there for me.
Swee bin was so nice too. She could sense that I was very moody and asked if i'm ok.. she's such a caring frd.. going to pay it forward.. :)

It's been a long time since i blog.. My class had won 2nd for frisbee interclass game. I caught and earned the 1st point for the finals. I'm starting to slack during class! But i can't stop my momentum now.. I still wanno do well.. Haiz.. dunno y i feel moody today. Happy that dear came to see me at sch though. He doesn't seem to praise me anymore.. sad.. only made fun of my negative points.. even entering a door he also can criticise.. is it me or is it him? Just take it that i'm having my PMS.
I'm excitied about sat's performance. going to dance and play the band. At least these are things to distract me from all my worries and unnesssary stuff..
I've visited the national bowling federation. Wendy, the general manager is a super friendly person. Had a great time talking to her.
The bad news is, I lost my ring.. hope i can find it soon..

I'm back! I've finished jogging for almost an hour today! But i felt hungry and had to cook instant noodles. dunno it has defeit my purpose for exercising to lose weight. Think I'm really motivated and till now.. though it's only the 2nd week, i'm still enthu about it. Lib is my 3rd home now, besides my own hse, hall and darling's place. haha. But today i din visit the lib. I went to mph to pract volleyball. Andre gave me many useful teaching cues like the ball has to be above ur forehead, my hands have to face each other and cushion and cup it and den extend upwards together with your legs etc. However, I suffered more bruises on my arm. See the pics!

During softball lesson, I learnt new knowledge abt the use of shortstop to tag player during forced play. batter will always take the longest time to run to their base as they can't steal their bases. We also did crossover which I had to move our non dominant foot to our dominant side to catch the ball with our glove. If the batter did not touch the ball and the catcher catches it, the catcher has to tag the runner running from the 3rd to the homebase. He/she should not step on the base as the runner is stealing the base. If it's a fly ball, the fielder can either tag or step on the base that the runner is running to.

After lesson, we went to watch hall 6 play bball. It was quite an interesting match. Van was playing. The members were very encouraging and pretty united. Managed to see how Jack play. So passed several nice passes. It was so cool!

After that I went back down to the hockey pitch. Went to throw some frisbee as well as supporting rosenna's class. Their class consisted of different talents such as fastest sprinter in singapore, national soccer player, basketballer and a few all arounders. They won 2 games and lost 1. My class would be playing tml. HOpe we'll have enough people for the game. THe more the merrier.

I've not talked much with dear dear since the day he came and look for me in ntu. He was so sweet to help me get my jersey and drove all the way here to pass it to me as i needed it for the following day for games and class photo. I brought him to the highest point in NTU and we spent sometime chatting. As I saw him so tired, i couldn't bear but to ask him to go home and rest early. He had just finished one of his quite shiong exercise.. He sounded so tired. Hope he's ok. Looking forward to see him during the weekends.

We have taken our class photos.. Yippe.. check it out!

Know why am I uttering all the rubbish letters... coz van was stamping on my keyboard!!! arrggg.. naughty gal!
I was saying.. everytime i woke up, i checked my hp, hoping to see Jason's message.. till morning.. i din receive any from him. However, he eventually told me that he was very busy the whole day.. I din really had time to talk to him too until at night. I'm getting more and more irritated by my hp. The reception of it sux.. I dun get to call out or message several times. Then I'm always afraid I might miss any important calls, especially from him. He doesn't sound very happy today.. guess he was bored with the blackout at his camp, it makes the situation worse..

Well, for my side, school has been great. I enjoyed practically every lesson. Tried to pay attention so far.. except that there are a few lecturers which worries me. Anu mentioned that this year, I seemed very paranoid.. Perhaps i am.. coz I trying too hard to make everything work out for me. I wanna get good grades etc.. But maybe this would help me to do better with stress.

This year, my resolutions are as follows
1) Punctuality -> now, it's not only for lesson, but everything, inclusive of dates, meetings etc.. This would certainly help me with my time management skills. :)
2) Study hard and play hard -> getting gd grades is my aim. I'll try to do my sch work during week days and enjoy my weekends with my love ones. But I love to enjoy my life as well..
3) PAss my music grade 7 pract exam -> which means I have to pract my music be confident when i enter the exam room
4) Save $$ -> I need to learn how to keep track of how much i earn and spend in order to save
5) Be a good gf -> well I wun have as much time to spend my dear dear. However, I should still give him my support in everything he does, show my care and concern plus understanding. Shall try not to be possesive. Haha. Maybe not possesive, but PARANOID. Keep asking if he still loves me.. coz I need lots of assurance. Ma fan right.. keke. But I know darling loves me and he will do his best to do anything for me. (rite dear? if u r reading? ;p) I will do the same.. coz i love him too :)
6) Be a good daugther and sis -> spend more time with my family
7)Be a kinder person -> Try not to be too skeptical. Sometimes i think too much. I may be oversensitive at times. Help my friends when i can.. Listen to them when they need me.. Not to friends. Do anything good to help people who r in need.

I'll add more if there are more.. But guess 7 of them are enough for the year.. I wanna be a better person. Looking forward to do it! Yeah! I'm tired le... going to sleep now.. bye!

Hmm.. 2 days of school have passed.. I've not met Jason for 3 days.. I was a little disppointed as I messaged him last night and was expecting a reply at least this morning. I woke up several times at night and looked at my mnbvcxbfng,kj.l;ljhgfrtyuiopiuyuttu6ufghjknmkrthn56re7utwyq2srxf3frwdfgjvi.lohn;' po/hgi76ykjtvugk,jboulyi/ p;i tyguojg ouilyhn ipoin "
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Look at these Photos! With my new haircut, i went to meet xiuzhen for sushi buffet at toa pa yoh.. Then, i went to meet roy in town. He accompanied me there to buy the swaroski crystal for my dear.. the photo with jason behind-- i didn't know he came and he gave me a shock after my bro took the photo! Haha.. My baby is stuck in camp now.. confinement.. so dun get to see him for a week.. Today was my 1st day of sch and went to sch not to attend lesson but to settle my timetable. I nearly din get to do softball! Luckily everything was settled. Thankfully.
I think I better come out with some resolution for this year. At least there are things to motivate me. Recently i felt life being boring again.. THink something is wrong with me.. Maybe the expectation of me of life must be always colourful.. THis time, I want it to be more meaningful to make a better person.. I will think abt it and blog again tml.. A lot of reflections needed here.. haha

Everything seems to be quite unstable between dear and me these days.. Both are at fault I think.. But we've talked things out and I really hope whatever we have agreed to do would be done to improve our relationship.. Guess if we are serious about this relationship, then we should take each other's words seriously..
There will always be a phase when partners would just take each other for granted and we just have to gently remind each other how to resolve the problem. We know that we love each other. But we have different ways of showing love to each other and demand different ways of receiving love from each other. It's all about complementing each other I guess..
Yesterday, my love had BBQ at his place. I almost the whole day with his mum to prepare the food for him. It was quite fun yet tiring. He seemed to enjoy himself.. I feel happy when he's happy.. :)
I just came back from prata shop. Saw adrian from ZPS. Asked him to plan another gathering session. Den I saw Steven, who is my classmate from poly. He dun seem to recognise me though..keke But I'm happy to see familiar faces around..

Guess wat.. The school held my results because I did not pay for my hall fees! Yesterday, with darling, we sent to the finance office to pay up the fees and wanted to surf the wireless to c my results. Guess what, there were some configuration prob and i had to go the library. Irritating isn;t it? haiz.. anyway, when i saw my results, I saw an A- for my critical perspective module which I thought I would be able to get it.. I was pretty pessimistic as I tot that is going to be the only A- throughout the 5 modules. Immediately, darling ran away with my laptop keeping me in suspense.. I had to ran around the library to search for him!! Anyway, I was quite surprised. I had A- for Social Studies as well as basketball! Yippie.. the next 2 modules were B+.. This is the first time having 3 A- on the report card.. keke. Shall work harder the next semester..

Darling and I had went suntec to search for his friend's wedding gift. There were some displays which i find them very nice from a jewellery company.. The angels were beautiful..

We decided to go orchard instead.. swarvoski.. and bought the crystals... They were beautiful! We went around taking lots of photos in orchard.. so fun! we played icecream like little kids.. Watched Red Line.. Nice movie..

Today I was the mc for the music concert recital. it went pretty well.. I met darling straight at rendevous hotel for the ROM ceremony of Weiming.. They seem very happy.. I'm also happy for them.. Next darling and me went marina square. We briefly walked through and headed to amoy street for my waxing session! darling offered to pay the package for me yippie! I'm going ot treat him koshimbo lunch at suntec in return. I feel that he really adores me as he knows i'm really broke now.. I told him in future when I have my earnings, I wouldn't have to depend so much on him already.. ;p

I realised we have him arguing lately.. the things he said has begun to offend him at times. I wonder y? Perhaps now we have come to a stage where he is so used to me and he feels comfortable joking all the time.. Well, I liked my honey's humour. It bring joy to my life. However, there are really times when i really need him to be serious and make me feel loved by him...I know he loves me. But we gals just need assurance. "Kind words bring laughter and joy to people" I learnt this from the church I was teaching music there. Well, everything needs a balance to it.. I dun expect darling to be serious all the time.. It'll be so boring! keke. Just wan him to be sweet at times to melt my heart.. Haha.. A little effort of doing it will made me happy :)

As for me, I think I've been quite petty recently, coz I wanted Darling to be more sentimental but he jokes about almost everything which includes things which I'm sensitive about caused me to be frustrated. Guess my expectations makes me lose my temper. I guess i just have to chill and give my love a chance to express himself in his own way.. We shall compromise, instead of expecting him to do certain things and end up showing him a black face when he doesn't do it, I'll express myself and tell him what i really love and hope we can figure and try to work things out together. If we love each other, we'll be able to work it out! Whatever dear has done for me has been greatly appreciated.. Till now.. Will not take him for granted for sure..

I'm still awake now coz i'm waiting for my hair to dry up. I supposed to know my exams results by today. However, I can't access the link to c the results! May have to go down to sch on friday. I went with darling and his friends to the cage just now. It was pretty cool! I wanted to play but dear din invite and I also too shy to ask. But i sweat a little by trying all the juggling and stuff. Missed playing soccer with my galfriends suddenly. Haha..
Btw, I injured my right thumb. I was already injured during ICG basketball. Joanna accidentally held on to my thumb just now and i heard a "crack"! It was super duper painful until I couldn't resist my tears rolling down my cheeks. Anyway, I went to the chinese physician and she did acupunctural for me.. It was painful.. but now it's getting better. I hope.. Darling was patient when i was pretty grumpy just now.
I was glad to know billy's gf and xiao yan.. they were very friendly and nice gals! It was pretty fun talking and gossiping. Shall get to know them better soon. :)

today, i went for my dance at studio wu.. I went there at the wrong time.. din know the class supposed to start at 3pm.. anyway, we learnt jazz dance today. It was very challenging as i din have any ballet background. But I still enjoyed dancing. Later, my dear gave me a surprise by picking me up from the dance studio.
Next we went to suntec to buy presents! secrets for now.. I learnt a few interesting stories from dear.. there's a teacher who asked a student if a jar which is filled with rocks can fill up the jar anymore. The student said no. Teacher went to takes small little pebbles and poured it in and the pebbles entered the jar through the gaps between the stones. Next Teacher ask if the jar could be further filled up. The student said no again. This time, Teacher took fine sand and pour into the jar.. The moral of the story is about knowing your priority right. If fine sand is placed in 1st, the stones and the pebbles will not be able to enter into the jar at all. Same for the little pebbles. Therefore, in our lives, it is possible to have everything that you want to achieve, but it is about the way you manage and set your priority.
i saw the night view of suntec. it was beautiful..

Well.. I'm glad that I have been busy with the isg.. I felt that my frisbee skills has deteriorated. Tml is our final game and I wanna play well. I'm going to do my best. Haiz.. i feel very fat. Everyone is saying i'm fat.. feel quite shitty. Anyway.. I've signed up with a slimming prog and I'm curious to c how much i can lose through the process. I wanna have not only a slim body but also a toned body. That's more healthy. I can't believe I'm signing up for this kind of stuff. keke. I met darling for lunch. Thought it was pretty sweet when he came and look for me without his car. For a change, we took a bus..

This week, there were number of incidents that cause hurt between us. In the past, when i feel hurt, I'll start to back off. But this time, I felt that this relationship is not about me anymore. That's selfish. It's about Jason and me. It wouldn't be fair to him if he puts in effort and I'm not. ANd I'm going to handle my relationship properly this time. I'm not going to give up but backing off. THat will not solve the problem. Communicating would. But i takes 2 hands to clap too. And we would put in the effort to improve our relationship by compromising and listening to each other. He said that we were afraid of losing each other that is why we ended up hurting each other.. well at least both of us admitted our mistakes and moved on.. However, all these are good tests for us. It really shows how much we mean to each other.

Just now, I went with my family to the temple. After praying, we went to see wayang. I dun really understand what they were trying to do. It seems like a trailer or something. I only remember them walking and galloping around and saying "Ha ha" here, "Haha" there. Haiz.. Had a hard time understanding and deciphering their actions. My grandmother is a great fan of wayang.. She bought tickets to go there to watch the shows.

Later, we went to look for the L shaped sofas. I had our dinner along paya lebar road. It was quite nice! next to the shop there's tis traditional confectionary. Check this out!

i can't sleep..
although I'm tired
Is there really that much to think?
I wonder..
Why am I still unhappy
when my love has been nice to me
just by looking at girls
it made me angry
No matter how petty or jealous a gal can be
I never thought it would happen to me
It's better for me to change it for better
and love each other forever.

I'm so happy today! I scored 2 goals for my team.i scored one JUMP SHOT n 1 LAY UP.I felt i've contributed to the team at last.I was glad tat i invited rosenna to join us.Initially she was quite reluctant about going for isg.however,she scored a goal today too n seem to enjoy the games we played.tomo we r going to play our FINAL n neverless to say i'm going to play hard o help the team to get the CHAMPION! i felt tat i've improve alot on about staying calm during competition settings.believeing in oneself is also important n tats when your teamates will trust n believe 'YOU CAN'. Our captain's ball did really well too.. we won by a point 10-9. close though. I din really play as those who went for the past games played 1st.
my DArling has been very supportive.without fail he msg me aLL the good luck wishes n support! just now its was raining heavily n he msg tis
"every drop of rain represent how much i miss ya. Look out of the window and ya know how much i miss ya" Isn't that sweet? keke..

hmm.. I've been involved in Inter-School Games lately. I joined basketball, tennis and captain's ball. I play the second game for bball and although I didn't score any points I felt great because I thought I managed to pressure me defenders pretty well that day.. As for tennis.. I thought it was really crazy for me to join coz i had no prior background except that I just learnt it last semester.. We had several walkovers and ended having the 3rd position. For tennis, it's not really abt winning but enjoying the game.. haha.. my love for tennis has increased again. Yippie!
I'll be playing captain's ball tml.. hopefully we'll have fun then. haha.
Darling has always been so sweet.. THere was once in the middle of the night when i had cravings for soup and brought me out to drink soup. hehe.. He has been paying so many things for me coz he knows I'm broke.. haiz.. Hate the financial state i am in now.. He made me feel so comforted when he says he's going to take care of me and "yang" me.. :)
Yesterday, he chose to accompany my parents than to go play soccer. I really appreciate what he has done for me.. love him so much.. I'll treasure him.. :)

haiz.. honeymoon is over.. darling doesn't give me the same attention anymore. Is it because I've given too much that things would be taken for granted? He only wants to watch TV now.. all he cares abt is he's TV prog.. sad..

yoz..
I feel very happy! I've cleared my dance performance the day before yesterday at sentosa for PESS's olympic workshop.. I didn't make any mistakes.. I'm so happy! THe hardwork really pays off. I enjoyed making so many beautiful friends from the dance troupe. Everyone seems so united and no one is left out.. My dear dear even came to c me perform although he was a little late.. haha ;p He was so kind.. offered to drive 5 of my friends home..
Just now.. in the evening, I went to see darling play soccer. I met one of his friends who shared with me a few words of advice. He told me that in order to have a good marriage, both parties must have trust and commitment from each other. He had a divorce with his exwife 3 yrs ago with a son. Now he has a gf who stays with him and he also had the custody of his son. He was generous enough to allow his exwife to meet his son anytime he wants. Wanna guess y he chose to divorce? His wife cheated on him.. How sad right.. it was at the period with he had to work for long hours to climb up the hierarchy to ensure a good pay for his family to survive. And guess how long had they dated? 7 yrs! This really shows that time does not determine you relationship would last forever.. Besides commitment and trust, I'd like to include communication. Without it, both parties wun be able to be together too..
From my dance troupe, there's this gal named Alan, she only knew her husband for 3 weeks and he proposed to her! She agreed and they are now still happily married.. REally envy them.. I hope i'd also end up like them..
My kor kor just now called to ask how i was.. he was saying Jason has the capability of taking care of me and say that after my studies, soon he would be expecting a marriage annoucement from me.. haha.. I really hope my relationship with jason would be a everlasting one.. BY the way.. he bought me a set of braun buffel wallet for an advance christmas present.. I gave me the biotherm products real advance.. haha love him la!

hi there.. long time no see.. I guess i'm in love again.. i have always been in love.. but the feelings of being excited over being in love seems to be coming back.. haha sounds crazy right? We have discussed many things lately. Over wat we aim to do in future.. how are we going to manage our finance, and how to love each other more.
I learnt 5 types to ways to express your love to someone. 1) touch 2) words 3) showering gifts 4) actions 5) providing time
For this relationship, I felt that I have provided a lot of time and actions. Touch, words and gifts come after that. I want my partner to give me more of words and actions, followed by touch, time and gift.

AS for dear dear, he told me he would like me to give him actions and touch, followed by words, time and gift. I feel that knowing the needs of your partner is very important. If u really love a person, you would try all ways of fulfilling your partner's need to make him or her feel happy.

There's another surprise given by him. Darling is going to sub a credit card for me! yippie! I tot it is good for me to publish it out here as a black and white proof. I appreciate that he trusted me so much. I'm going to promise him if i happen to use the card, I'll pay my bills for sure! Promise! :)

I'm worried abt darling.. in order to slim down, he didnt; take regular meals.. it worries me. Must make sure he eats proper meal.. As for me.. i still eat as usual.. but growing fatter and fatter.. that sux.. must do somethign abt it..

I've been watching Heroes.. so interesting. At least i've finished watching.. now i can concentrate and study for my examinations.

I felt super jealous yesterday. saw love letters and pictures of darling and his ex.. At least he was kind enough to throw them away.. if he didn't i wun force him to do it too.. perhaps those were memories which he would like to keep too..

I'm so happy today! My party was a real sucess! I din really expect things would really turn out so nicely! My poly friends, obs, nie and sec sch frds came.. Although I did not really talk much to each group as i was busy moving from one grp to the other, it was a gd gathering session for the groups themselves. I totally enjoyed myself! I hope the rest did too. There were many talents within the groups. Magicians, musicians, comedians.. they were gd enough to bring up the spirit of my guests. I have Cat to help me take pictures, they rest jus cling amg themselves.. My parents were great! They helped me a lot! serving people food and entertaining them. I was so happy to meet careen and quibing whom i lost touch with long long time ago. Andrew kor and Peter still came to support me as usual. Darling came to join us after his soccer. I dun mind him playing soccer. That's his passion so i should nv try to stop him unless he wants to do it himself.
I really got to thank especially darling.. Without him, the whole thing wouldn't have started. He was the one who made me change my mind abt ago

I feel so blessed and so lucky suddenly.. Yesterday, darling asked me to continue to plan for my birthday party.. I was quite doubtful that the pple who i invite will come.. I told him that not many friends might turn up for my party. Guess what he said.. he said that the most, he will bbq with me.. just the 2 of us.. HAha.. how sweet! He's so encouraging! love him la.. although these are just simple words.. but these kind words made my day!
My brother will definitely be doing his magic tricks for show on sat.. haha. I messaged many of my friends.. of coz there are people who can't turned up. I also dun wanna hav much high hopes. But unexpectedly, there are people whom i tot will not come told me they are coming!! I'm so happy.. Long lost frds like Careen, Quibing.. they are coming.. There are few good frds who offered to help out before the party itself.. my cousins geraldine and bro would be coming too.. CAt is going to be my photographer.. everything seemed so right.. I haven told my parents yet.. I'm short of cash too.. hopefully they could help me out a bit.. Darling offered to buy cake and even catering.. But i see if it's necessary first.. must help him save money too..
He asked me wat i want for birthday.. it's weird telling him wat i want.. I dun really need any expensive gift.. It's the heart that counts.. the love that he can shower me with.. the faithfulness and trust that he gives me can be considered as the best gift anyone could receive..
The love that my family, boyfriend, relatives and friends has given me really made my life so complete.. I wanna feel this way forever... Without one of the aspect.. things would be different..